Monday, February 28, 2005

sleep and more sleep

That's what I did for most of yesterday. Sleep and then I slept some more. And then I went to bed early. :-o I may have caught up on my sleep

Had to argue with Nick to get him to finish his story. He didn't like the prompt so he didn't want to write the piece. He finally did though.

Chris had a lazy day yesterday. Watched the race and a couple of movies. Asked him to go to the store and he "I don't want to go anywhere." So I went.

Cleaned Nick's room which took forever. I didn't realize one child could make such a mess. :-/ My front room is full of stuff now that needs to be hauled off.

Haven't heard a word from my parents. They are probably pissed off with me because I didn't make it up to Dunn to see my grandma. I plan to go today sometime to see her.

Elizabeth is still sleeping. I think I may join her for a little while.

Saturday, February 26, 2005


I have this annoying habit of not really watching tv when it's on. But I do watch the commercials. I should go into advertising because I can could come up with better commercials than some of the ones I've seen lately. Although some of them are cute.

Pringles Snack Pack: There's one left and the kids are "bidding" on it. The mom is like the auctioneer and they are offering up what they will do for the pringles snack pack. The little girl wins with the offer of "balancing the checkbook and watering the ficus". Mom says "sold to the lady with the ficus" and the little boy is all like "what is a ficus?". Nick asked me that too. I had to look it up and I'm still not sure I'm spelling it I like this commercial.

Burger King: For the spicy big fish sandwich. If you've seen it, you'll know right away what I'm talking Sharon says it borders on indecent. I, however, can see guys having that reaction over that girl... I sort of like this commerical too.

Any of the Suncom commercials: They suck. Harry Connick Jr seems to be the new spokesperson and really, they could have gotten someone better. I don't like this one.

The Subway commercials with Jared: Ok, props to him for losing all that weight. I'm really happy for him. Truly I am. But I am so tired of seeing the commercials that he's in. Seriously, they get old after awhile.

There's an ad they are playing on the radio for Cingular that just cracks me up. The conversation between the dad and the college daughter.

Dad: It's my $19,000 a semester daughter.
Daughter: Aw dad, we have Cingular's family talk national plan.
Dad: $4000 for economics. Let me break it down for you. Dad is going to the poor house.
Daughter: But dad, with Cingular's family talk national plan we can talk to any other Cingular customer in the United States for free.
Dad: Free. That's a word I don't hear enough of.
So she repeats what she said.
Dad: You already said that. $2000 for poety. Here's a haiku for you.
Your college education
My financial situation
Oh I am so broke...

The last part is what cracks me up every time.

And yes, I am bored. Or else I wouldn't be dissecting commercials... :-o

toy soldiers

Listening to Eminem's latest cd..Encore. I absolutely love his stuff, even his earlier although I can't listen to that song where he "kills" Kim, without cringing. The latest stuff is really good though. He's maturing, I guess, for lack of a better way to explain it.

Cartoons are on in the living room. My children are so rude that they turned the tv on while I was sleeping on the couch. So I woke up to hear Mucha Lucha or something. Nick thought he would watch cartoons instead of doing what I told him he would do when he got up this morning. So he got pissed off when I told him he had to clean h is room before he could watch tv. :-/ He'll get over it.

Chris is in Dublin today trying to finish that house. Nick managed to get himself trapped in the bathroom. I can't feel my arm but the bathroom door is open. We will probably have to replace it. Only Nicholas could manage to get himself stuck in the bathroom. 8-

It's cold today but it's really pretty outside. The sun is shining and the sky is all looks like it should be warm. Appearances can be deceptive. :-o

i should be sleeping

The kids have been in bed since 9:30. Chris went to bed at 11:30. He has to go fix some stuff in that house in Dublin tomorrow and he has to go early because the floor man is scheduled to be there sometime tomorrow morning. They can't get paid until he fixes the bs stuff the inspector failed them for. *sigh*

I took a 3 hour nap earlier so now I'm not really tired. I should probably go to bed anyways but I don't really want to. I know the kids are going to be up early though. *sigh*

We had subs for dinner and watched a little bit of tv. That's how our night went. Dawn called and left a message while I was sleeping but I never called her back. Gina called after she got off work to see if I had heard anything about grandma. I called Mama but she didn't call me back. Ricky did tell me that she came through the surgery ok but she had to have two pints of blood. And he said his dad said something about them "finding something" but he was on the cell phone and the reception was really bad so he wasn't sure what that was all about.

I really feel for my mom and dad right now. Both of their mothers have been really sick in the past month and they've been running back and forth trying to take care of stuff. Running from one hospital to the next, back and forth, day after day. Mama sounds so frazzled whenever I talk to her. That and trying to keep up with their business and their own health situation seems to be taking its toll. I keep trying to convince them they need a couple of days away but everytime they get in the position to do that, something else happens. :-/

And then add to that, she told me she was worried about me, health wise and the stress and she suspects that I am having problems with some other stuff... I don't want her to worry about me. I told her so the other day. She keeps telling me when things calm down, we should go to lunch and have a really long talk. She knows stuff is going on; she just doesn't know what. And right now with all the stuff she's dealing with, I won't tell her. I keep telling her everything is fine because I don't want her to worry any more than she already is.

I think I will go to bed now. Tired of sitting here

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

a diagnosis of sorts

The doctor called this afternoon and told me my lab work had come in.

My thyroid is apparently working properly. Which is a good thing.

I am diabetic. She wants me to come in for more tests and she's going to get me on meds although she didn't say what.

She thinks the heart thing is directly connected to the diabetes. Unregulated blood sugar causes your blood pressure to rise and your heart rate to speed up. The "fluttering" is my heart trying to slow itself down when it starts beating too fast. The medication should help. And if my blood pressure continues to stay up after they get my blood sugar under control then she'll see about doing something with it as far as meds go.

That actually explains a lot. The shaking, the extreme tiredness, the constantly being hungry (and Gina thought I might have gotten pregnant again.), the headaches.

I hope she's on the right track. I really don't like worrying. *sigh*

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Friday's doctor's appointment

If I somehow got stuck on your updated list, I am very very one million times very sorry. That's too many to write out. I started an entry on Saturday and couldn't finish it. So I'm finishing it today 2/22/05.

This will probably be short and I promise to update properly later.
I had my doctor's appointment on Friday and they told me NOTHING! Nothing useful anyways. She listened to my heart, said it was fast (duh!). Hooked me up to yet another EKG and told me it was in a normal rhythm, just beating fast. And my blood pressure is high. But they can't/won't do anything about it until they get more readings and she said they have to be done 10 to 14 days apart, so I go back on March 4th. She wasn't concerned with the headaches on Friday, or the fact that my back hurts so bad, I can't sit up or lay down for long periods of time. Do you know how annoying that is??? She was more concerned with the heart beat thing and I guess if I have to prioritize it, so was I. She basically told me to not stress about it and then they took enough blood from me that they could probably open their own bank with It seemed that way at least. She said they were going to check my thyroid and some other stuff. Blood calcium and lipids and something else.

By the way, did I mention that I despise needles? Absolutely hate them and so that was very unpleasant. *sigh* The lab woman got annoyed with me I think because I made a comment about her id badge. Apparently she used to work for the doctor's office, but now she works for Spectra Labs... or vice versa. Anyways, her doctor's office id badge has her name on it and then under it, it says "Director of Baked Goods". So I asked her about it because I was curious. And she showed me her old badge, the one that has a really outdated picture of her... where she was like, (and I am not making this up) at least 400 pounds. The woman standing in front me with the same face probably weighs 130, 140 tops. She's lost a lot of weight. So apparently her colleagues thought it would be cool to make her a badge with her updated picture on it. I guess I made one of those shocked faces because she told me she was on the atkins diet. And then turned her id badge over so no one could see it.

Really, I did not mean to embarrass the woman. I think it's really cool that she's lost that much weight. She's a pretty woman too. Before and after. Oh, and the director of baked goods part came about because she said she loved to bake but now she can't eat any of it, so she brings it to work and feeds it to everyone there.

Yeah, so $400 later, I still don't know what is wrong with me. Dr. Robertson asked me if I was under a lot of stress. I just laughed at her. She seems to think that anxiety/stress is a large part of my problem.

Met Chris for lunch in Dunn after his eye appointment. He has perfect vision. So he was a bit irritated about the whole deal. But at least he knows that he has perfect vision now and his headaches are coming from somewhere else. (I'd say I'm the cause of Ummmm... yeah. Putting up with me on a daily basis is enough to give anyone a headache.

We had lunch, I came back and picked up Elizabeth. Chris was supposed to go around to the gun shops in Dunn to look around, but when I got home he was here, loading the truck up to haul a bunch of stuff to Elizabethtown. He was going to do it on Saturday but instead did it Friday night because he got really angry with Nick and I made him leave. That's a whole different entry right there though.

Will finish this later. Well actually, will write about the weekend later. Right now, I've got to start supper before my children protest. Or Nick finds the breaker for the

Sunday, February 13, 2005

I am procrastinating

Moments of randomness to follow

Chris, Nick and Elizabeth are watching The Hunted. They had a timberwolf on there and Chris told her what it was and she started repeating him. It's cute.

They (Nick and Elizabeth) spent the night with James and Sharon last night. We picked them up today and Sharon said they were really good. Elizabeth actually talked to James which is unusual. Normally she just looks at him like he's from outer space. Nick and Jamie had a couple of spats but being boys that is expected. Overall they were good though so I was grateful. We hung out for about an hour or so and then we left and came home.

I dropped them off over there yesterday and came back and picked up Chris. We went up to the hospital to see my grandma. I wanted to cry. She's so frail looking and when she fell, she bruised up her arm and chest and she looks really bad. They (the doctors) are saying that no she didn't have a stroke. They "think" that her blood sugar level bottomed out which made her pass out. They are keeping her until Monday for observation and they are doing more tests and stuff on her. She's 84 though so I guess calls like that should be expected. My mother could be a little less alarming though. She called and said that we needed to get up there asap because it seemed really bad and they thought she was going to die. *sigh* I have really fond memories of my grandma. Seeing her like she is now is really really difficult because I remember so vividly how she was before. Stuff like when we were kids and she chased Kevin around the house and the yard with the broom in her hands threatening to wallop him for stealing cornbread from the fridge. Or the time we spent the night and my sister and my cousin cut a hole in the waterbed. They found a knife of my uncle's and in trying to get it to close after they opened it, they pushed it against the bed and water was going everywhere. I freaked out because, hey, they were flooding the room and my grandma comes out of her room.... Takes a look around and turns around and calmly goes back to bed. It wasn't funny at the time but now thinking about it, it is hilarious. Here the room is starting to flood and she goes back to sleep. Wasn't her room... lol.

*sigh* You can't talk to her now because she doesn't remember anyone or much of anything. Alzheimer's is robbing her of what is left with her life. And it makes me incredibly sad. We stayed at the hospital for awhile and then we left.

Chris took me to Wilmington/Carolina Beach last night. We originally went to Clinton with the intentions of eating dinner but everything was packed. Finally, he starts driving and I'm watching the scenery and he tells me we are going to the beach. I thought he was joking but he wasn't. We went to Mamma Mia's on the beach and had dinner. Which was oh so good. And then we went and walked on the beach. And then we drove home. That's the second time in a week we've ended up at the beach. Last Sunday, we went to Elizabethtown to feed the dogs and then to Whiteville. I bought him a watch. And then we started driving and we ended up in Myrtle That trip we had the kids with us, which I do not recommend. Elizabeth eventually got tired of riding and started acting up. But we still had a good time. We walked on the beach and then drove to Holden Beach. Nicholas and I picked up seashells and I called my sister because Chris told me to call her and let her listen to the ocean.... Last night, it was just me and Chris and we had a really nice time. It was a wonderful way to just kind of get away for a few hours. After all the stress of the week and particularly of the day.

He finished that house in Dublin yesterday. YAY!!! That house was starting to drive us all crazy.

Today we cleaned up some in the yard and he burnt a lot of stuff that's been piling up. He's slowly working on cleaning up the yard which has been somewhat neglected because he's been so busy. He cooked dinner tonight too. Should I be worried? ;) I was taking a nap and so was Elizabeth and he came in and decided he was hungry so he cooked. I still have to clean up the kitchen. Oh, and finish the laundry that I started. It is supposed to rain tonight and tomorrow which is a good thing because we could use it. Not a lot, just a little bit.

Nicholas finished his project. I just have to finish typing it. That's what I'm procrastinating about. I need to get it done though. Like now probably would be a good He did his valentine's cards too. Bought a bag of candy for him to take to school to give out with his cards.

Type the report... I know I know... I'm going ;D

Friday, February 11, 2005


This past week has been stressful. Last Saturday, I took the kids and we went to the store. Elizabeth was being a complete and total pain in the ass. I ended up holding her for forty five minutes while we were in line, the entire time she's flinging her 32 pound self backwards, trying to get out of my arms, screaming at the top of her lungs, "Let go of me".... Ever since that day, my back has been hurting. And I started feeling a fluttering in my chest. That's what it feels like. A flutter. It doesn't hurt, it's just uncomfortable. Sort of scary since I have no idea what is making it do it.

Tuesday night, Chris took me to the emergency room because it was happening with such frequency and it makes me catch my breath when it does it. I got there, explained what was going on and they hooked me up to an EKG. The guy who did the EKG said they didn't see anything abnormal going on even though I could feel the fluttering while they had me hooked up to the machine. My blood pressure was high and my heart rate was fast but nothing abnormal showed up on the EKG. They send me back out to the waiting room. 8 hours later I'm still sitting in their waiting room. I left. There was a woman there who had been there for 16 hours. In the waiting room. They really need to get it together at the emergency department of Cape Fear Valley. They talk a good game about "fast tracking" but in reality, their ER leaves a lot to be desired. So I left and went home. And the fluttering continues. I made an appointment with a GP but it's not until next Friday. :'(

Chris and my mom seem to think I have pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve. And my sister said that I stress too much and that I probably need to get a hobby. A part time job. A life outside of this house and away from my kids for a few hours a week. I don't know what it is. But I do know that I am scared and no one understands that.

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 175

It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...