Friday, February 11, 2005


This past week has been stressful. Last Saturday, I took the kids and we went to the store. Elizabeth was being a complete and total pain in the ass. I ended up holding her for forty five minutes while we were in line, the entire time she's flinging her 32 pound self backwards, trying to get out of my arms, screaming at the top of her lungs, "Let go of me".... Ever since that day, my back has been hurting. And I started feeling a fluttering in my chest. That's what it feels like. A flutter. It doesn't hurt, it's just uncomfortable. Sort of scary since I have no idea what is making it do it.

Tuesday night, Chris took me to the emergency room because it was happening with such frequency and it makes me catch my breath when it does it. I got there, explained what was going on and they hooked me up to an EKG. The guy who did the EKG said they didn't see anything abnormal going on even though I could feel the fluttering while they had me hooked up to the machine. My blood pressure was high and my heart rate was fast but nothing abnormal showed up on the EKG. They send me back out to the waiting room. 8 hours later I'm still sitting in their waiting room. I left. There was a woman there who had been there for 16 hours. In the waiting room. They really need to get it together at the emergency department of Cape Fear Valley. They talk a good game about "fast tracking" but in reality, their ER leaves a lot to be desired. So I left and went home. And the fluttering continues. I made an appointment with a GP but it's not until next Friday. :'(

Chris and my mom seem to think I have pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve. And my sister said that I stress too much and that I probably need to get a hobby. A part time job. A life outside of this house and away from my kids for a few hours a week. I don't know what it is. But I do know that I am scared and no one understands that.

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 175

It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...