Wednesday, July 6, 2005

mergers

For all of you with any money left in the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Time Warner implosion, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in the near future:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Company will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace

2. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner, Cracker

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm! and the National Organization of Women will become: KnottNOW!

9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: Titty Titty Bang Bang

10. Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs.

11. John Deere and Abitibi-Price: New company will be called Deere ABi.

12. Honeywell, Imasco and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm Home.

13. Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine.

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 175

It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...