Wednesday, October 14, 2009

there's a hint of mystery

***originally written on April 29th but just as applicable today as it was then***

You are waiting to see me fail. You aren't wanting a tiny failure, a tiny blip on the screen; instead, you are hoping for something akin to nuclear fallout. With bated breath, you wait to see if today is the day... is this meltdown THE meltdown... will she finally lose it altogether?

You sit and you watch and you wait. Patience is thy middle name because this has been a long time coming. The ice queen gets her comeuppance. On the outside, you feign empathy, concern, the model of care and compassion; but on the inside, the tiny devil is cackling gleefully and rubbing his miniature hands together with unsuppressed joy.

Let me be the one who rains on your parade, bursts you well-constructed bubble: It's not going to happen. My downfall won't be your way up. My demise won't be the catalyst for the change you seek in the order of things. I've been lower than this on more than one occasion. Like the phoenix who rises from ash, I am a lot sturdier than you think. I can handle a lot more than you anticipate.

You can continue to wait and watch but at the end of the day, I won't fall or fail because I know you are hoping it will happen. And I'm just a big enough bitch to keep it all afloat so that you won't have the satisfaction of being able to gloat.

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 175

It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...