Thursday, October 22, 2009
What keeps me awake
Stress. Lack of appreciation. The lack of common courtesy. Pain. Nightmares woke me up. I changed the bed. I lit a candle. I went to the kitchen & got a drink. I took a set of pictures. I didnt cry. I thought about how, earlier in the week, I sent a friend something based on my belief that it was needed & I could do for me on Thursday. And then I found out we werent getting paid until Friday afternoon. And to make it even more hurtful, said friend acted like an ass all day. And affixed a label to me after telling me that he didnt want anyone labeling me. I hurt. Both physically & emotionally. The person who hurt me most doesnt even recognize how his actions are damaging. And gets pissy & pins it on me when I try to tell him how he is making me feel. I handle things badly a lot but I am not the only one. I own my screwups & apologize. Apologies dont make you weak. Refusing to recognize the need to apologize on occasion is damaging. I am tired of having daggers thrown in my direction.
It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...