For the past few years I have had what I term an "on again, off again" relationship with religion. There are times when I embrace my faith with what some might consider abandon and other times when I push it into a corner and attempt to pretend it's not there. A lot of this has to do with questions I have plus events that have taken place, not just in my life but, throughout the world in general.
Over the past several (read this as four) months, I have had several epiphanies about life, love and religion. The questions I had in my mind received answers and while they weren't answers that would satisfy a theologian or even anyone else probably; the answers were well suited for me and I understand some things better than I did. I can work with this.
Last night, I was simply amazed at the way I felt during the rit. I have attended several over the past couple of years that didn't do much of anything for me or my peace of mind but last night's was simply beautiful. I appreciate that I was receptive to it to be able to gather this modicum of peace. I feel like everything fell into place despite some ill willed spirits who seemed determined to do everything in their power to prevent me from attaining that peace.
I am beyond grateful to Sebastian and Anastasia for their help in matters of my heart that were and still are very important to me. I could not have done this as easily without the two of them. I'm not saying I couldn't have done it at all; it would have just been a bit more frustrating if I had to do it all alone. And to Russell for believing in me and my mojo. I know it's always been there but thanks to him and Erik, I'm actually seeking it out to utilize rather than letting it languish.
I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, saying that my crisis of faith is finished. I think that most people, regardless of their religion, go through these things. In this, I do not think I am unique. I am saying, however, that I think I'm more capable of dealing with it than I was six months ago. I received a very precious gift from the goddesses last night, something I can hold in reserve and call upon the next time I'm questioning my very existence. That, to me, is priceless.