looking forward

I was given some advice last night by a woman, a guest at the hotel. Unsolicited advice but it resounded within my head and has stuck with me since she said it. Sometimes, the higher powers speak to you through channels that you were least expecting. I'm grateful I took the opportunity to actually listen and absorb.

I did some writing in the wee hours of this morning in my book. The words, previously not forthcoming, poured onto the page and then one page ran into another and then another and the next thing you know, I had writer's cramp. I am starting to remember why I like computers so much except that there is something a lot more personal about handwritten letters/pages etc that I really miss and enjoy doing. It's worth my hand hurting to feel the satisfaction of accomplishing getting the words out. I keep wondering what other people would think if they read what I wrote and I finally decided I'm wasting my time thinking about this particular aspect of things. The "what other people might think" has held me back from a lot of things and it's time to stop worrying about that and get on with the process of living my life. I'm worth that.

I ended up sleeping most of the day before I had to come to work. I think a lot has to do with the restlessness of last night and the dreams that wouldn't let me get a good night's sleep. Add to that, a tinge of anxiety about the rest of the week, some emotional issues and some serious depression and you have me needing a nap. But and this is huge, I feel better right now. This tends to change on an hourly basis depending on the weather (the sun is currently shining) and the position of the International Space Station in the sky (I'm kidding, really.) Right now though, I feel okay. Even if I did get yelled at by some jackass.