Tuesday, November 30, 2010

miscellaneous things

I am still sick. I don't know why everyone else got it for like 2 days and I can't seem to get rid of it but it sucks on a whole variety of levels. I feel like my head may explode.

I got home last night to discover that my family had cleaned up the house while I was at work and set up the Christmas tree. It needs to be decorated which I haven't managed to do yet since I can barely keep myself awake but the tree is up.

The DNA model was made. It's pretty cool I think.

I didn't have to work tonight. I ended up sleeping most of the day and now I'm awake but barely. My head hurts so much I don't want to keep my eyes open for long.

I have a ton of things I need to get done. But I think I'm going to go to bed and try again tomorrow instead.

Monday, November 29, 2010

still sick

I am still sick.

I am at work.

It is slow tonight.

I have tomorrow and Sunday off.

There is really nothing much else to say.

Whatever it is that I have is trying to beat me down and it sucks.

Seriously.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

There are....

...27 days until Christmas and I have not done a bit of shopping.

I wanted to decorate over my two days off. I had to get the house cleaned up first and I did that between bouts of sleeping excessively thanks to this cold that I have. So the house is almost in tip-top shape but I didn't get the first Christmas decoration hung. I am only a little upset about this. I figure I will do it bit by bit over the next week when I have the opportunity or on my next two days off (whenever those might be since we don't have a schedule yet.)

I have supper for tonight. Leftovers. I am happy about this because the food was really good the first time I had it... and it beats having to figure out what to have delivered. It's entirely too pricey to have food delivered when I'm at work. I have really come to enjoy this whole bringing dinner from home thing that I have going on. 

I took some cold medicine. Now if it would just kick in, I would be extremely grateful.

It is a very slow night here tonight. There are only 10 guaranteed arrivals. Boo.

I think I'm going to go read some of my book because the internet seems to be increasingly dull at the moment.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

birthdays and colds oh my...

Today is Gina's birthday. I sent her a text to say happy birthday and she texted me later to tell me she was really not feeling well. I offered to go pick up Beth who was staying the night with her. (Total of 2 nights.)  I have slept all day. Thank goodness for not having to work.

Nick and I went to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. And index cards. And soap pads. That's a really random shopping list now that I think about it.

-sigh- I got cold medicine too and I am hoping that it will kick in soon because I am completely and totally miserable.

Friday, November 26, 2010

why I don't shop on Black Friday

Simple answer: I am not insane. I have not ever understood how anyone could want to get out in the madness that is Black Friday shopping. It boggles my mind. Every year since Gina had children, I have watched her kids for her on Black Friday. She works at Wal-Mart. Barring a slight case of... oh... DEATH, she HAS to be at work on Friday morning. Last year, I didn't keep them because Shawn did and because I had to work that afternoon. This year, I am off so they came over last night and were here when I got home from work.

Chris has gone hunting and I have gone crazy. Ha ha. Not really. I don't feel the best in the world. Elizabeth is going home with Gina and her girls so I am about to go lay down and take a short nap.

That cold that everyone has been getting? Ha. I got it. Yay.
(Please note the sarcasm in the yay.)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

there can't be a dinner....

....without a massive amount of family drama.

Today, it was Janet who left the house and finished her plate on the patio. We had been outside so we asked her what was wrong and all she would say was something about Tricia running her mouth and how she was tired of it. When we went back inside, everyone else was still talking and Chris and I both got the gist of what the conversation had been to set Janet off and I have to admit, I was a bit off put by it too but I didn't say anything. I left shortly afterward to come to work so thankfully, I didn't have to hear a lot but I can understand why Janet was angry. The conversation was centered around who was getting what when Dad passes and to me, that's just a bit tact-less.

The food was good. (As usual) This is the first year in almost 15 that I have not cooked. I am a bit sad about that but I don't seem to have the time to cook supper anymore let alone an entire feast. Aunt Emma called while we were at Dad's house. (Which prompted me to remember that I want to get my Christmas cards filled out and addressed tomorrow while I'm off work.) (I only intend to do this so they will actually get mailed out this year unlike last year when I forgot to mail them until the 23rd of December. Oops.)

Football is on in the breakfast room. I had the tv off but a guest came in and turned it on and then left. I'm thinking about turning it back off. As much as I don't like the quiet, it's preferable to the noise from the television.

I have this sneaking suspicion that tonight is going to be as slow as last night. I have more reservations coming in but 6 of them are in the same name. It was excruciatingly slow last night. I may go crazy if tonight is as quiet.

When I get home tonight, there will be no quiet. My nieces will be at the house with E while Mr. Attitude is spending another night with his cousin. He better enjoy the sleepover because he won't be going anywhere else all weekend. He has notecards to finish and a project to do. If E gets her report done tomorrow then she's going to go home with Gina tomorrow night. That will be nice. To have a night off and some quiet. I may get my decorating all finished after all.

Overall, it's been an okay day so far. I'm a bit tired but I've been up since 6 and since we went to Dad's today, I didn't get my nap before work. Oh my goodness. I just realized how old that makes me sound. :-/

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

my head is hurting

I'm not feeling well tonight. I am glad that it is slow at the hotel because I don't know that I would be able to stand it otherwise. I have to get through tonight and work tomorrow and then I'm off for a couple of days. I am happy about that.

I did lots of laundry before work today. Went and paid Mr. Carter. Had an interesting conversation with him. Stopped and got a sandwich and came to work. 

Tomorrow's plan includes dinner at Dad's and then work for me.

I have a headache tonight. I really just want to curl up and go to sleep but I can't do that for at least another 4 hours. -sigh-

I'm not even sure why I bothered writing today.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Grumblings

At least I honestly titled my post so you can skip it if you don't want to read a bunch of griping.

I noticed today that no one has been doing much of anything around the house. I know why I haven't been doing much (autoimmune disease that has me excruciatingly tired ALL of the time plus working 5-6 days a week at the hotel.) I can guess that Chris is tired after a long day at work and then coming home and having to pick up E and then make supper and all of that. But what I don't get is why no one is picking up behind themselves (mostly the kids.) There is an entire laundry basket full of their clothes on the floor of their bathroom. That is highly annoying to me. He's almost 16; she's 8. Between the two, you would think they could manage to put their things away and put their laundry where it belongs. The living room is full of her school stuff and library books despite the fact that library books (both school and public) have a specific place where they go so they can be kept up with. Likewise his school stuff that he has scattered over the bar even though I purposely de-cluttered said bar and pleaded for it to be a clutter free zone. Yeah. That happened for all of a minute. Same things for shoes.

They each have specific tasks they are to do every evening but I can't tell where they have done anything at all. And it is pissing me off. Perhaps, I should cut them some slack because I really haven't been doing all that much either in the cleaning department. The difference is that I'm more neat and I don't leave things scattered about. I put back what I get out. I put up the things I use. I throw away the trash I create. I don't expect that someone is going to come behind me or that there is a housekeeping fairy who is going to make things magically clean.

Part of this is my fault. I accept this fact. I did ALL of it for so long that everyone expected me to do it. They didn't have to do chores because I was there day in and day out to keep things neat and tidy and I picked up behind them without saying anything about it. When I started working, I laid down some ground rules and I just expected they would realize how difficult the life changes were for me as well as them and they would pitch in and do a little more without complaining so much. Maybe, I expected too much. All I know is that something has to give and this weekend while I am off, we are going to get the house in shape and then we are going to have a long conversation about maintaining it. ALL of us. Not just Mama.

Monday, November 22, 2010

why did i ever think...

...this would be a good idea?

My head hurts. My heart hurts. I really want to go outside in the parking lot and have a good cry but I will resist the urge because it would probably get me in trouble. 

*****************

I have spent an inordinate amount of time tonight on the phone with a woman who can't find her way to the hotel. I am at my wit's end because I'm not a GPS system yet people seem to think they can tell me "I see a big tree" and I should know where they are automatically. I'm sorry it doesn't work that way.

It has been super slamming busy in here tonight which is a surprise because I had 40 something rooms to sell tonight. I'm down to 9. I have been running like crazy.

The new schedule was posted. I am off Friday and Saturday. Work an 8 hour shift on Thanksgiving. I'm a bit annoyed about that because we had all thought we were going to work a 4 hour shift. Oh well. I have plans to watch my sisters kids on Friday and decorate my house for Christmas. I am really looking forward to decorating. Chris had to make me wait until then. I was ready to do it a week ago...lol.

*****************

I have cried more than I am comfortable with today. I couldn't begin to say why other than I am just a bit on edge and I think my hormones are wildly fluctuating. I have an appointment in 2 weeks to get them tested again so we'll see about that too.

I am going to go do my stuff that needs to be done for the end of my shift even though it's not nearly the end of my shift. Perhaps I am trying to speed the night along?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

watching the AMAs

I'm at work and I have the breakfast room television tuned to the American Music Awards. I'm only half paying attention to it but there are a couple of different artist who caught my eye.  (Why does Taylor Swift have to be so pretty?) And if you are prone to seizures, perhaps you should avoid watching the Black Eyed Peas.

It has been slow this evening. I have had very few people come in and so I have spent a lot of time dancing behind the front desk and making a fool of myself. This isn't difficult to achieve for me.

I am evaluating and re-evaluating my life at the moment and what I am coming up with doesn't make me feel the greatest in the world. -sigh-

I think I'm going to go watch more music videos and avoid thinking so much. 

Saturday, November 20, 2010

a few quick things...

First, today is the 20th. I have posted an entire 20 days so far and I am really ridiculously excited about this fact even though some of the stuff I have posted has been pure drivel. It's been so long since I consistently posted anywhere that I am giving myself a pat on the back.

It is my aunt and uncle's (opposite sides of the family) birthdays. My aunt would have been.... 65 and I can't tell you hold old my uncle is today other than to say he's younger than 56 because that's how old my mama is and he's the baby in her family.

I am at work. Big surprise there. I feel like I'm always at work. I slept until it was time to get ready today which is unusual for me. I woke up at 6 this morning and had coffee with Chris while they got dressed to go hunting and then I fell back asleep and didn't get up until 12:45 when my phone rang. I am surprised it took it that long to ring but it was a blessing in disguise because I got some good sleep.

It has been super boring so far tonight. There are half the rooms in the hotel to sell and very few of my guaranteed arrivals have arrived as of yet and I am ready to fall asleep up here at this front desk. That would probably be a really bad idea so I've been running around in the lobby checking the coffee and other general nonsense in an effort to STAY AWAKE!

I really need for some people to come in and keep me occupied.

Friday, November 19, 2010

i hate my phone

This is freaking ridiculous. I am attempting to post from my phone. It is driving me insane. I think I am going to give up and go eat popcorn instead.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

how.....

.... can I have possibly slept as much as I have in the past several days and still be tired?

I ended up getting Chris to pick up pizza because I just didn't feel like cooking. And honestly, I'm ready for bed again.

I don't know what my problem is and I don't want to analyze it.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

another day

I slept for most of the day before I had to get ready for work. I was just bone tired. It seems like for every good day there is a day that is its complete opposite. I'm at work now and surprisingly, it's going to be an easy night. The rooms were all sold when I got here so all I have to do is check people in and answer the phones and turn walk-ins away.

I'm off tomorrow. I ended up with three off days this week even though Monday was technically my second day off for last week. (Weeks run Tuesday to Monday.) We should get paid tomorrow but I have no intentions of coming to get my check until I come to work on Friday. If I can get away with it, I'm not going anywhere tomorrow.

My head hurts. This is a sure sign that I probably need to go eat.

I also need to type up a resume. The only problem is that I have really forgotten how to do a good one. I guess during slow points tonight I will have something to do. Find a decent template and figure it out.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I need clever titles

Today is my mama's birthday. I was going to sing but kept getting her voicemail and when she called me back, I was in Wal-Mart so I decided to forgo singing to her.

I had to make an unexpected trip to Wal-Mart. Did a lot of work at the house. Helped E with her homework. We had a good time doing that.  Cooked. Watched a movie with Chris. We watched "Equilibrium" and it was pretty good. That's the second movie here lately that I have actually watched all of it and not gotten up and gone to do something else instead. 

I am not feeling the best. Getting ready to take a pain pill and go to sleep.

Monday, November 15, 2010

who knew?

I've been off work today and I did absolutely nothing except cook supper.

Well... I take that back. I slept. And slept some more. And then cooked. And remembered to eat. Tonight, Beth and I went on Study Island and got her through all but one of her lessons on the website. I am ve-ry impressed with this because they aren't due until December 18th but we flew through them. She was doing a really good job and I sat with her so if she had any problems I was right there to help her. We have one more to do before next month. I'm off again tomorrow so we may go ahead and get it done and out of the way. She has a social studies project to do too that is due when they go back from Thanksgiving break.

Right now, the guys are watching football. She has gone to bed. I am supposed to be cleaning off this computer but I haven't made it that far yet. I got involved in writing and making sure her lunch was paid for and checking Chris's email. He never checks it so I have it linked to mine and I check it on occasion. He had an invitation to join Facebook and when I told him that, you should have heard him laugh. "Yeah right" he said. Interest in social media is nonexistent on his end.

He should have his truck back in a few days. His dad helped him pay half so it would get fixed and then we are going to make payments on the other half. I am extremely grateful for the help because I had no idea how we were going to pay for it.

I think I'm going to go find something to watch on tv in the bedroom since they are watching the Redskins get butchered by the Eagles (and it's only the first quarter.)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Something very important I learned...

...that I knew already but today, it was reminded to me in a really big way. This place... my job... is just that. A job. These people.... my coworkers... are just that. Coworkers, not my BFF, not even people you can legitimately put into the "friend" category. They are the other people who work here attempting to accomplish the same goal: Sell rooms, keep guests happy and collect a paycheck. This is a job. Nothing more or less. And the people: as two-faced as they can get. I've known this the entire time I have worked here but lately, it had been better so I had let my guard down and in the past few days, that letting down of my guard came back to bite me.

Lesson stored away in my mind. I won't make that same mistake again.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

easy night my behind

It was *supposed* to be an easy night since we had all these groups coming in and the place was full. Ha! Ha! Ha! One of the groups no showed and so there were 26 rooms available. I get a pat on the back for selling every.single.one.of.them.by.myself. There. I feel a little better.

Chris didn't go hunting today. Instead, he worked on the yard. The front looked awesome when we left for him to carry me to work. (This one vehicle is not cool... but next week, I'll drive myself since he will be at work whenever I have to leave for work. I figured for the weekend it would be easier on him if he had access to something to drive that wasn't a mobile billboard [his work van] so he's been carting me back and forth.) I don't know what they were planning to do for the evening. He mentioned working some more in the yard but then he also mentioned going to the woods for awhile with the kids so I have no idea which they did.

I had a dream last night that had me laughing when I woke up. And I mean seriously laughing but I can't for the life of me remember what the dream was about. 

It has been a really long day. I'm glad that it's almost over. Another 45 minutes here and then I can go home until tomorrow at 3. I'm off on Monday so that's a really good thing. I'm in desperate need of a day off where I can maybe finish a book and get some house work done.

I think I'm going to pass the rest of my night by reading some. I don't really want to do much of anything else.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Sad

They are talking on the news about how they are reasonably certain they have found the remains of a young girl who has been missing for more than a month in NC and it has made me teary. I had been holding out hope that she would be ok and they would find her alive and well but that's not what happened and while it pisses me off; it also makes me incredibly sad.

Work has been painfully boring tonight. It has the potential to be that way tomorrow night as well.

I am tired and wishing it was 11 so I could go home. I have to wait to be picked up tonight because there is the whole "truck not working" issue. That is always lovely.

I think I am going to go close my shift and run around the place for a few minutes in an effort to wake myself up.

I don't like nights like this.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

There are times...

...when I wonder what the point is of almost everything I do?

I blew up at Chris today over his truck (which is currently broke and in the shop again and will cost approximately $800 to fix.) I feel like we have poured entirely too much money into a truck that is 16 years old. Granted, it has given few problems over the years but when it does break... well.... it breaks spectacularly and the transmission is something I never want to think about again (replaced 3 times in 3 years.) While I know he is fond of said truck and it does make more sense to fix it rather than take on a car payment we can ill afford at the present time, it's also annoying as hell to have to fix something on it every 3 months or so. After we replace this set of parts, about the only thing that can break that hasn't been tackled yet is the motor and I probably shouldn't even type that because it will be luck that I just jinxed us.

But... the point of the preceding paragraph was really that I blew up about the price of said fix and I took it out on him and that wasn't fair of me to do. I should have taken several deep breaths and told him I would talk to him later and calmed down and thought and THEN had a rational discussion but I didn't. He called me at work and it just set me off so I handled it badly. -sigh-

Sometimes, I fail at relationships.

It's almost time to be off work. Yay! Yay! and yay! I am happy about that because I am exhausted and I really want to go home, wash my face and go to bed. He is off work tomorrow and we have a few things planned that we need to get done. I am hoping that we have a productive day before I have to go to work.

I'm away from here to close out my shift and wait for 11pm.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Goodness

It has been the kind of emotionally fraught day that makes one want to hide under the covers and perhaps not emerge for days. Unfortunately, I didn't have the luxury of doing this since I had to be at work tonight. Instead of hiding under the covers, I drug myself out the bed and did laundry and dishes and then read a few pages in my book before taking a shower and picking up Beth.

Work tonight has been okay. It was busy for most of the evening which was a good thing because it kept me from being bored and staring at the walls.

I didn't really get a chance to eat because my supper was making me feel ill. It's the same thing we ate last night so I don't know why it should have had that effect on me today but it did. I am probably going to go home and make some popcorn. It's not really nutritionally sound but it's better than nothing.

I am really tired tonight and not really feeling like writing much of anything. 12 more minutes until I can depart this place and go home. I am really looking forward to that tonight. I want to crawl in the bed and just stay there for awhile. (No school for the kids tomorrow so I can probably manage to sleep in a little bit. Yay!)

Ok. I'm gone from here with my nonsense. Maybe one day I will actually figure out a theme for this place and it will make more sense.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I had my appt today...

...and it went well. My a1c was 6.0 He was pleased. Typing this from my phone is a pain in the behind. Getting ready to go to bed. It has been a long day.

Monday, November 8, 2010

It's Monday

Not only is it Monday but I think it's been the longest Monday in the history of the world. I feel like I have been at work for 99.9 hours but I've really only been here for 5 hours and 29 minutes. I have 2 hours and 31 minutes to go and frankly, I'm not sure I'm going to make it through this night with my makeup intact. I'm pretty sure I have already smeared the hell out of it. I have cried not once, not twice but three times so far tonight and it's getting a little annoying. This makes like the 8th time I've cried today and honestly, I have no idea why!

I have a doctor's appointment in the morning for a diabetes checkup so perhaps I should discuss my fluctuating moods with him. In addition to the hot flashes and the night sweats and disappearing cycle and oh my goodness. I'm only 34 years old. I'm pretty sure that's too young for menopause and I've already ruled out being pregnant as a reason for any and all of this. Unless the tests (um... 3 of them) were wrong. I'm pretty sure that since it's been 8 years since I had my youngest and had the whole snip thing done that it was never that but I tested anyways just for my own sanity. Which I find is rapidly dwindling with the ever increasing list of symptoms that seem to have started out of nowhere.

Just writing that paragraph exhausted me.

I saw my sister today. She stopped by while I was getting ready for work to show me her new car. She got into an accident about a month ago and finally, everything with the insurance company is settled so she went and got a new car today and she's tickled about it. It's a really nice car too. She texted me just a few minutes ago to tell me that I needed to eat a hamburger because I was too skinny! (Skinny is not an adjective that I would attribute to myself and I'm almost positive the doctor won't attribute it to me tomorrow either but it made me smile when I read it.)

I'm off tomorrow and next Monday. I don't like having my days split up like that but this may be a good thing. Given my current state of mind, two days in a row could very possibly find me hiding in bed and not leaving my room. What in the world is wrong with me? I've got tears (yet again) and it's getting ridiculous.

I'm going to go stare across the room for awhile since there is nothing happening in here and it's too early to start wrapping up my shift. I don't know what happened to Mr. Ed tonight. He was here earlier but I haven't seen him since he first got here and usually he's hanging out over here on nights that Mary works next door. I'm guessing it's Mary working although I can't really be sure without calling and I don't want to do that because I have nothing to say to her. -sigh-

Could I be any more random?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I am bit on edge right now

After two days off, I was ready to come back to work this afternoon. My children tried to drive insane over the past few days. I finally couldn't take much more last night because I had a headache to beat the band so I called Chris and said, "Please bring supper." And he did. Shortly after consuming said supper, I went to bed and went to sleep. So I was in bed by 9pm and I recall waking up three times but never for more than five minutes. I've been having night sweats here lately and it's starting to really bug me. I should probably mention it to my primary when I go for my appointment on Tuesday. They took me off a couple of meds and the crazy symptoms started after that so it's definitely worth checking into.

I did dishes and laundry and a lot of miscellaneous things this morning and then discovered it was only 11:30 so I took a nap. When I woke up: It was 12:30. -sigh- So I got ready for work and left at 2 even though I would be really early and as I was driving, Chris called me and told me the clutch had gone out on his truck so I turned around and went to pick him up. He drove me back to work and we still got me here half an hour early. Time: It doesn't seem to be moving very fast today.

I've been at work for 4 hours now (since I got here early) and seriously: Where is everybody? It has been so slow in here tonight. I have spent some time surfing the internet and emailing and reading blogs. I had to eat my dessert before my supper because Chris is bringing me supper but he hasn't made it here yet and my sugar dropped into the low 60s. My body still thinks that is an hour later. Much earlier though, it was a lovely looking 89 so I am pleased.

I have no idea what I am going to do for the next four hours until it is time to go home. Tonight, i have to wait for Chris to come pick me up. He will probably be early because he usually is whenever he has a time to be somewhere. 

I'm going to go smile at people. I am getting better at doing that.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

i have the worst headache

I spent my day doing laundry and getting it folded and put away.

I watched a mini-marathon of LA Ink.

I have listened to my children fuss and argue and fight.

I currently have the headache of all headaches. I really want to go to bed and go to sleep but I have to do something about supper before that can take place.

I am seriously hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

Friday, November 5, 2010

there is something about a day off...

...that makes me ever so lazy. I managed to get most of the laundry done but I also indulged in a really long nap because I just felt so run-down. I really don't like that feeling at all but it was present today so I let my body tell me when I needed to just stop and go to sleep.

The kids got report cards today and they were pretty good for the most part. I am not happy with a couple of the grades but I changed my mind about fussing over them and simply told them they had done a good job and there was a bit of room for improvement. 

We went to supper tonight. That was fun and something we hadn't done in awhile. The food was good and we did a little bit of shopping afterward. I was ready to come back home though. I am discovering about myself that on my days off, I much prefer to stay here than to have to gallivant all over the countryside.

I am about to put myself in the bed.  Maybe a decent night's sleep will make me want to actually get things accomplished tomorrow. Goodness knows there is enough that needs accomplishing.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

It is a dreary Thursday

It rained all day long. Gray and damp and just generally ugh! I'm a sunshine kind of girl so this did nothing for my mood and now, at 9:20 pm, I find myself feeling all blah and icky. I really could crawl into bed and just sleep for a little while but with another hour and forty minutes before I can leave work, this is not going to work out for me. (And now having walked away from the computer to do a few other things, I have 53 minutes left! Yay!)

I got involved in a conversation with Mr. Ed that spanned hair spray for men to how he met his wife (over 40 years ago... I can not fathom the concept yet of that much time.) It was an interesting conversation which passed some time and kept me from clock watching.

Overall, it has been a really interesting night. Just busy enough to keep me from going crazy but not so busy to make me go crazy. (Make sense? Not to me either.)

I am off tomorrow and Saturday which is desperately needed. I feel like someone ran me over with a train. Or beat me with a bat. Or something.

I am going to get serious about writing over the next couple of days. There is so much to say... now I just have to find a way to say it.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Wednesday's Words....

Sometimes there are few words to get a point across. Tonight is one of those nights.

I woke up at 3 this morning and I have been running pretty much full tilt ever since. I did laundry and some other household chores and got ready for work. Put gas in the truck. Picked up the wee one and came to work where I have spent most of the evening alternating between being frustrated and being ready to go. By my count, there is only 50 minutes left until 11pm but that never means anything because he rarely, if ever, shows up on time. I am hoping he will surprise tonight and be oh... five minutes early. That would be lovely.

I noticed that a vast majority of the campaign signs were removed today when I was moving about the city. For the sheer number of signs that had put out, I find this to be an impressive feat.

I got into a very heated argument with a dear friend today and I think this may be the straw that broke the camel's back. It ended with me in tears and then being incredibly pissed off at the sheer audacity of what happened. I'm a fan of open communication. I do not appreciate being attacked and that's the gist of what happened today. I asked the simple of question of "what is wrong?" and I initially got "nothing" followed by an attack on me that was both very hurtful and completely unproductive. I made it clear that I did not appreciate said attack and then I hung up the phone. Amazingly, I didn't cry until just a few minutes ago when I got an email that had a song in it and it made me over think. -sigh-

I am looking forward to Friday. Or more specifically, tomorrow evening at about 11:15 because I will be off work until Sunday at 3pm. Yay. I am so looking forward to having two days off and in a row.

This is all for now. I'm going to close my shift and try not to watch the clock until it is time to leave.

what I have been doing

What I have done this week besides stress: Started working seriously on the video game. Had a long, in-depth conversation with Erik. Cleaned my house. Scheduled all of my various appts. Bit the bullet & lined up surgery though it terrifies me. Worked. Slept with the exception of last night. Cried because people lack the ability to be compassionate human beings. Voted. Read a book. Did some writing that I promptly deleted. Practiced some patience. Tried to be understanding. I am being left in limbo. I am not appreciating being left in the dark. My day today consists of tying up some loose ends & engaging in the deletion of things that serve me no good purpose. And a nap. I have a feeling I will need one.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I'm at work

I went to vote today and after getting lost, I finally found my polling place. For some asinine reason, my polling place is in Eastover even though I live in Stedman and there are two polling places for Eastover which boggles my mind because Eastover is seriously small. Fun fact: Eastover is the only town to be incorporated in North Carolina since the early 1950s. So back to voting: I found the correct polling place, cast my ballot and then went home to take a nap. In my defense, I had gotten up really early and ran some other errands before I went to vote.

And then I came to work. This is where I am a lot of the time. At least 5 days a week from 3 to 11. It seems like a lot more than that but really it isn't. Have I ever mentioned that I like my job? I really do. Most of the time. There are times the people annoy the life out of me but that's really becoming more rare. I wonder if it's because I'm getting used to it? I like the people I work with and the people I work for. I'm sure that sentence is grammatically incorrect but I'm too tired to care right now. I've been working here for one year and 23 days. (October 10th, 2009 was my first day.)  There's a long drawn out story as to why I got a job but I'll save that for another day, another time.

It is fairly quiet here tonight so I've been updating the blog list that I created last night and tinkering with the backgrounds and stuff. I am wishing I had never let my own domain name go and thinking about how I may buy another if I can think of another decent name.

They are starting to show campaign returns on tv. I think I may go watch for a little bit. 

Monday, November 1, 2010

Does it count....

....after being away for a year and a month and like twenty something days I pop in to my blog to say "wow, I have missed writing here and there has been so much going on that I should have been writing because it would have seriously alleviated some of the stress I was feeling... but I didn't." So here I am. Good, bad, indifferent.

Perhaps over the next few months, I will tell some of those stories that have been building in my extended absence but then again, maybe I won't. Some of them are intensely painful and obviously very personal and some of them aren't really mine to share so time will tell whether I take that particular plunge and procure permission to tell those stories.

I'm not particularly happy with my blog design at the precise moment (what is it with me an the letter 'p' tonight?) but geez... I guess when you stay away for as long as I did and then spent almost a year posting from your cell phone.... well... things they will change. Ironically enough, I have not been away from the internet... I just haven't had any words. I'm hoping that they are back for good now.

And because I love a challenge: As if it isn't enough to come back to the blog and attempt to start over, I have also signed up for NaBloPoMo and I am thinking that if I have a day where I just want to give up, I'll use their daily writing prompts.

I am really looking forward to being back. Really.

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 175

It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...