Monday, December 31, 2012

GIST - The New Year's Eve edition

Things I am grateful for today 

1. The joy of hearing my children pick & play with one another today with the absence of fighting.

2. Listening to Elizabeth attempt to tell jokes. She has good comedic timing even if all of her jokes have been told so many times that you can't help but know the outcome.

3. being loved.

4. a relatively slowish evening at work tonight.

5. making some goals for next year that I think will be do-able versus the usual resolutions that I forgo about 18 minutes into the new year.

6. good friends

7. buffalo chicken pizza

8. random compliments from strangers

9. making some decisions that will benefit me.

10. coffee

Sunday, December 30, 2012

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 40

Things I am grateful for today

1. The holidays are mostly over. There is still New Year's to get through but the rest is history and while I enjoyed them; I didn't enjoy them as much as I wanted.

2. I have a wonderful family.

3. I have some really great friends.

4. The crazy canine aka Roscoe aka Scooter aka Thumper (and my favorite) aka Scobee. (It's a wonder he comes to us at all given that no one calls him the same thing twice in a row.)

5. Being secure in knowing that I made some sound decisions.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

GIST - The Christmas Edition

Things I am grateful for today 

1. The kids had a nice Christmas. (At least, I think they did. Nobody complained about what they got for Christmas so I guess that is always a bonus.)
2. I made chicken parmesan for dinner and it turned out really good.

3. a short work shift today (6 to 11!)

4. Grateful for it being busier tonight at work than it was last night.

5. Also, I have the next 2 days off.

6. Roscoe

7. coffee

8. some sunshine today

9. Chris. And Elizabeth. And Nicholas

10. finding a reason to smile today

Sunday, December 23, 2012

odds & ends

*I guess this is my version of cleaning out my inbox. I decided to delete all of the posts in draft because most of them had been there for months and months but instead of deleting this one, I finished it.*

I dreamed of moors again last night. As in Ireland. I don't know how I know it is Ireland in my dream but I do and it is. There is always a mist and I can hear music. The dream never goes beyond me walking on the moors; nothing concrete ever happens good or bad yet the dream is one that has been recurring on and off for most of my adult life. I, sometimes, feel like there are answers waiting there for me if I were to be brave enough to seek them out.

I try not to have regrets with my life because I typically feel they are a waste of time. You can spend time regretting the things you haven't done or you can go about doing them. So I was really surprised to realize that I do, indeed, regret some decisions that I made when I was somewhat younger, when Nick was younger. There are things I wish I would have done differently and I can only strive to not do those same things with Elizabeth. I won't call them mistakes because as they say "hindsight is 20/20." They seemed like the best decisions at the time. It's just now, presently, looking back on it that I think I could have/should have done some things differently.

My daughter says I work too much. I still haven't found a way to convince her that me working is something that is both necessary for the household budget and for my mental well being. She only knows that I am often at work in the afternoons and evening so I seem to rarely get to see her. And oh, how I miss getting to spend time with her. She doesn't seem to grasp that this is as hard on me as it for her. Perhaps, more difficult for me because I remember being able to stay home with them when they were both younger.

We have new cameras at work that allow me to see what is going on all across the hotel on all the floors. I really like being able to do that because now I can see when people are having trouble getting into their rooms and can head them off at the pass before they make it all the way back to desk to throw keys at me. 99% of the people who say their key doesn't work has actually not put it in the door lock properly. They always get a bit annoyed when I take their key from them and insert it into the lock and the clock clicks open on the first try.

This post is completely random and brought to you by the many things swirling around in my brain. There is more; there is always more but I am hesitant to write it out. And it's almost time for me to go home. 

GIST - The Sunday edition # 39

Things I am grateful for today

1. I am grateful that I managed to get my shopping done in the 4 hours I was out yesterday afternoon while I was off work.

2. coffee and the beautiful little girl who gets exasperated every time I ask her to make me a pot of coffee but who goes and makes it anyways (even with the huffing and puffing of her breath.)

3. my parents 

4. my sister (even if I haven't talked to her in almost 2 weeks.)

5. a quiet evening at work after a really busy week.

6. being loved.

Friday, December 14, 2012


My day started out quietly enough.

I wasn't feeling well so I slept in for awhile. I had errands to run before work and Chris, who has been sick since Wednesday, stayed home from work and was sleeping. I heard a snippet on the radio about a school shooting in CT but didn't pay a whole lot of attention because they really didn't say much of anything except that police were on the scene and they would update when there was something more to tell.

I was driving down the road on my way to the bank when they interrupted their programming to announce that the death toll was at least 18 and that a majority of those were children. I felt a chill go down my spine. And it brought back to mind last year when my son's high school was on lockdown because someone had been shooting on campus and had shot a girl in the neck. Caitlyn has made a remarkable recovery and while the two incidents pale in comparison to one another, the feelings of helplessness and horror while waiting for him to be released were all brought back to the surface.

All afternoon I listened to the news. Until I just couldn't listen anymore and I had to change the channel. I have spent the evening at work with the television in the breakfast room on ABC family watching Christmas movies. I finally had to stop reading twitter and checking facebook. I needed a moment to breath.

And then I felt guilty. Because there are families tonight who can not simply turn off the news or not check social media, who have to deal with a reality that is now their new reality thanks to the sheer horror that was perpetuated on their community by someone who was a member of their community. It is senseless. It is stupid. It is incomprehensible.

I will not ever understand what drives people to do what they do. There is no amount of investigating that can be done that will make me understand that sort of evil.

My heart hurts for all the families affected. And then my heart shattered when, in checking twitter, I was informed that a woman I consider a friend lost her nephew in this tragic event. A bright 6 year old boy named Noah. I can't even....

I got home tonight and I hugged my children. Neither of them have mentioned being aware of what happened today. I'm sure Nick knows because he is as active on social media sites as I am so I can't see how he doesn't know yet. I don't know how to talk to them about it really. How do you explain pure evil? I am hoping in the next few days the words will come.

As I get ready to log off for the evening, I am thinking I will not be around very much this weekend. I have to work each day which may be a blessing in disguise because when I am at home alone I tend to think too much. And I need to do a few things that I have been putting off. And I need to cry. Mostly I need to process everything that has happened and the chatter and rhetoric floating around isn't going to help me do that.

In the meantime, the families of Newtown are in my heart and in my thoughts. It's such a small thing but for the moment, it is all I have.

Friday, November 30, 2012

I tried. I'm not going to say I failed.

I was very intent upon posting every day this month. Really, I truly was. And then the weekend after Thanksgiving happened and then I had 3 days off in a row and I felt seriously horrible and ended up sleeping most of time off away and I didn't post a single thing. I just couldn't muster up the energy to get through every day and write. For a minute I was feeling like I had failed but you know what? I didn't. I know this. I haven't posted regularly in years so the fact that I posted for 23 consecutive days this month really means something.

It is more difficult to find a balance now that the kids are so much older (one is almost grown; the other acts as if she is...) and with working a job where I don't want to write too much about the people who work with/for me because they are entitled to their privacy and I don't want to be "that" girl, ya know?

I don't want someone from HR to call me into a meeting and be like "well we saw where you wrote..." and take issue so I just tend to not write much that could get me into trouble. Frankly, that's pretty damn boring.

So I think I have decided that I will continue to write but I am going to remove the restrictions that I have placed upon myself and I'm not going to keep a set schedule that I will feel the need to apologize for if I don't adhere to it. I'm just going to be me. The good, bad, the indifferent.

We will see what happens.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

for my sister

Today is my sister's birthday. She hasn't been feeling so well lately and I am concerned about her. I keep trying to get her to go see a doctor but she is stubborn and so far, has refused. I keep hearing her say "no lectures please." So I make the attempt to not lecture.

My sister is amazing. She doesn't seem to recognize this about herself often enough but she is simply amazing. I am surprised that the two girls who used to try to beat each other up in the back yard (yes, that would have been us) have become such good friends in our adult lives. Who even knew that could happen? I'm so very much glad it did.

My sister is a wonderful sister, an extraordinary mother to my 2 beautiful nieces and a spectacular friend.

I won't rat out how old she is, just that she's a few years younger than me. Old enough to know better but still young enough to care (much!)

Happy Birthday, Gina. I love you to the moon and beyond.

PS: I think this is the first year April has ever said happy birthday to you without calling you Ramona Quimby. I call this progress. ;-)

Sunday, November 25, 2012

GIST - The Sunday edition # 38

Things I am grateful for today

1. a job that I love even when it drives me crazy.

2. friends who make the effort to understand me.

3. having a couple of days off in a row starting tomorrow.

4. knowing that I am completely loved.

5. books.

Friday, November 23, 2012


I very cheerfully came to work tonight. I am not so cheerful just a few minutes from getting out of here for the evening but the idea of being to able to leave the house and not have to listen to Nick play video games for the upteenth hour was appealing.

It has been really nice at work. People are mostly pleasant which is surprising to me because I imagine many of them have been up forever today what with Black Friday and all and then traveling. I always like to know where people are going. Or where they went. I think this probably makes me incredibly nosy.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Gratefulness - The Thanksgiving edition

I make it a point to always try to be grateful every single day but it seems fitting that on a holiday set aside specifically for Thanksgiving that I remind myself of the things for which I am grateful.

  • my children
  • my husband
  • my job (which I enjoy beyond measure)
  • having time to read a good book
  • laughs
  • friends (both near and far)
  • my sister
  • a roof over my head
  • having a place to vent
  • the medicine that keeps me alive
  • coffee
  • days filled with sunshine
  • the changing colors of the leaves on the trees

There's always more but those are the things just off the top of my head. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving (or if you are not in America, a wonderful Thursday.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

strange but true

Today is my Uncle Ken's birthday. He's the youngest brother on my mama's side of the family. I honestly can't tell you how old he is because I have trouble keeping up with my own age most years. Somewhere in his mid 50's because he's younger than my mama.

Today would have been the birthday of my Aunt Wilma. She was the oldest of my father's siblings. She passed away several years ago. I think she would have been 67 this year because her and her siblings were two years apart and my daddy is 63. I miss her tremendously.

As a kid, I used to think it was so cool that I had relatives on each side of the family who shared a birthday. I don't even know why I thought this was the best thing ever but I did.

Also in the category of best thing ever: I was born on my grandparents wedding anniversary. My grandma told me this one year when she was talking about her married life (my grandfather passed away in the early 80s.)

I am in a melancholy mood tonight. Part of that has to do with the time of year. The rest of it has to do with worrying about my uncle and missing my aunt.

Off work tomorrow so I am going to cook and we are going to have Thanksgiving dinner a day early since I have to work every day until Monday.

Monday, November 19, 2012

written a little bit over a long period of time

If you watch the news for more than five minutes a day, it can really be very depressing.

Anyone who says that no one is traveling for Thanksgiving doesn't work in the hospitality industry or travel down an interstate. As someone who does both, I can assure you that traffic is heavy and hotel rooms are being snatched up like hotcakes. A boon for the business to be sure. A bit of a headache for those of us who thought it might possibly be a slow night and are short staffed already and don't have the correct number of people to schedule to keep up with the busy-ness of the evening.

I can wear my snowman earrings in 3 days. I was teasing Chris about wearing them the other day and he said I should wait until at least Thanksgiving. I think he really meant "after Thanksgiving" but I am going to go with Thanksgiving itself and wear them for my 8 hour shift that night. You have to find some joy where you can and for some reason the snowman earrings make me smile.

It has been busy in here tonight. My goodness, at the sheer number of people who have filtered through this door this afternoon/evening.

This mandate to leave FOX News on in the breakfast room is really grating my nerves. About the only person I can tolerate on there anymore is Shepard Smith. I don't know why that it is but it is.

My sister has invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday. I am off that day (it's my only day off this week.) I think we may stop in there for a little bit. I was planning to cook on Wednesday for us as our Thanksgiving meal since I'm working 3 to 11 each and every day after that but we shall see.

I have 3 hours and 15 minutes to go before my shift is over.

I am so ready to go home.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

tired and sad

What is currently taking place in the Middle East with Israel and Palestine is enough to make you cry. And cry I have.

I went to bed last night just after 9pm and I slept until almost 11:30 today. Apparently I found my tired.

I was supposed to order Chinese food for supper tonight but I forgot to bring any money with me and I don't want to use the bank card because then I will have to go to the bank and put it back and I'm too lazy (and busy) to do all of that.

I made the schedule and I have myself working 6 days this week. What exactly was I thinking?

It's busy in here tonight which is a good thing. I hope it will stay that way.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

something good

I have been up since 4am when the alarm went off for Chris and Elizabeth to go hunting.

I have done a little bit of everything today.

It was supposed to be a lazy day and instead I did some more cleaning. I did some cooking. The only thing I have not done today is read. Not a thing.

I also talked to Mama and she told me that Uncle AD was more alert today and talking to them and I got to speak to him on the telephone. That made me happy. I don't know what exactly is going on but I am pleased by any sign of positive progress.

Friday, November 16, 2012

busy busy day

I got off work at 7 this morning. Went home, drank a quick cup of coffee and fell asleep for 2 hours at which point the alarm went off and I forced myself to get out of bed and get moving.

Called my mama to wish her a happy birthday. Took some venison to Mr. John. Went to the bank. Got my hair cut. Stopped by the library. The post office. The grocery store. I feel like I did an inordinate amount of driving.

This being in the car forever was compounded by the traffic snarl that is one of the main arteries into Fayetteville. Hwy 24 caved in on one section and they have traffic closed (obviously) which makes for a freaking nightmare. You never realize how much traffic a road like that gets until that road is closed and everyone has to take the itty bitty roads around it. Roads that were never designed to handle that much traffic might I add.

So I finally made it home where instead of sleeping I proceed to do a whole bunch of laundry and clean the kitchen and straighten things and put away laundry and and and (everything but sleep.) For some reason, I'm not as tired as I thought I would be given that I worked all night.

I am, however, going to call it a day now.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

so much to say

I called Mama first thing this morning because she had asked me to call her before going to the hospital so if there was a change in his condition or if something bad had happened then she could warn me first. I was unprepared for her to say that she thought it was a bad idea for us to go. Her reasoning was that he is really bad off and she was afraid we would have a bad memory. Then she tells me that of course I can go if I need/want to go but she's worried how it will leave me. We hang up after I tell her I will be discussing it with Chris and 5 minutes later, she calls back to tell me that Daddy thinks I will regret it if I don't go when I have the opportunity. And then she calls back again to let me know they were on the way up there themselves if we got lost and needed directions. And finally we left the house and we didn't get lost and it was as bad as I was afraid it was going to be and I cried and my other uncle made me want to throw him through a window and I cried some more and then we left. [let me take a deep breath]

Chris called his friend Jeff on our way back through Wilson and we went by his house and I got to see puppies and rabbits. After we had already left, they were on the phone and I found out there had been baby bunnies in the pen (that I didn't see!) and I wanted to go back but I figured Chris might murder me in the truck if I told him I would like to go back and see them so I kept my mouth shut.

We went to White Swan and got a plate for supper and then he dropped me off at home so I could go to sleep because I had to work later in the evening.

I slept for all of 3 hours and then I was wide awake so I went ahead and got ready and now I am at work. I got here about 9:15 this evening. I knew Susan would be ready to go given that she hates to work 2nd shift and it is busier than really likes to handle other than me. I love 2nd shift. It is this 3rd shift stuff that I'm not overly fond

It's going to be a long night. I'm going to go try to smile my way through it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

...and then the phone rang...

It was early this morning when I picked up my phone and realized I had already missed a call from my mama. I was in the process of turning the ringer on and returning her call when I saw I had also missed a text message from my sister. So of course, I really thought the worst. But my fears were unfounded as of yet thank goodness. Mama was calling to let me know the hospital had called her and there had been a turn for the worse. My sister was texting to see if I had talked to Mama because they both thought I had worked audit the night before.

Chris and I got into an argument this morning which was uglier than I would have expected it to be. I'm not sure what his problem was but he was in a bad mood and I'm always in a bad mood in the mornings. -sigh- We made up before he left for work but it didn't stop me from crying about it later. Mostly at the stupidity of it all.

The next couple of days are going to be rough. I am working audit tomorrow night and Chris offered to go with me to Rocky Mount tomorrow so we are going to do that in the morning and I have to go to work early because I agreed to do that since Susan agreed to work the desk 2nd shift.

I think I might better go to sleep.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

i could use a day or two

I have been contemplating my vacation because October 14th was my anniversary date at work and so I collected another year but I am at a loss as to when to take it. This year, Chris will get his entire vacation days credited to him on January 1st (instead of in July which is his anniversary month) so we could possibly make our vacations match up. Then I think how, every year, I take my vacation in January because January is such a drab month and it gives me a boost that seems to work out for me. I'm not sure quite what I will do yet but I have been considering it.

Tonight at work has been so excruciatingly slow. People have come in but it has been sporadic and the phone hasn't rang much and I am just ready for my days off this week. Of course, I have a bit to wait since I'm not off until Friday and Saturday.

Lillian floated tonight and she actually came over and talked to me a few times tonight. Yes, I am surprised because she has not been of the mind to do that ever since she started working here. I did think, at first, that I must have somehow made her mad but Page assured me that Lillian was just really shy and not good in social situations. Tonight she was ok though.

And Amelia is still not speaking to me. Oh well. She will get over herself sometime soon.

Monday, November 12, 2012

I am at a loss for real words

I don't know where to put most of the stuff rolling around in my brain so I will dump it here and hope for the best.

I spoke with my mother at length this morning about my uncle. He has not improved any despite being sent to the specialty hospital in another city. This hospital is supposed to be one of the premier hospitals and the doctors there can not figure out what is wrong with him. He isn't allowed to have visitors for more than half an hour at a time and so, I am not yet allowed to go up and see him. My mother, bless her, is holding together relatively well for a woman is running on mostly adrenaline and decaf coffee. She told me of a conversation she had with my father about how she flinches each & every time the phone rings; a part of her steeling herself for bad news. They canceled their trip to Florida because she said she can not imagine trying to have fun while her brother lays dying 800 miles away.

I was particularly grateful today for the opportunity to actually speak with her. I think the conversation ultimately did us both some good.

The kids didn't have school today because of Veteran's Day. Elizabeth made me coffee and breakfast this morning and we had a pretty good day before I had to leave to come to work. Nick slept through most of my "at home" time, waking up only long enough to help me carry my stuff to the truck and say bye.

There was stew cooking in the crock pot when I left and Chris messaged me to tell me that it was really good. His exact words were "f---ing awesome." I take it the stew was pretty good. I will find out when I get home tonight.

Work has been... a bit slow so boring. There are 50 minutes left in my shift and then I will go home and collapse and come back again tomorrow.

Things are tense at work to say the least. I did see Mr. A today. He hugged me and told me to tell Chris that he had hugged me so he wouldn't be jealous (ha ha) and then he told me to tell Chris to love me more. I really like Mr. A. He's funny most of the time and sharp as a tack even though he pretends otherwise.

On that note, I'm going to watch Food Network until it is time to leave. Everything else is done already.

Happy Veteran's Day: to all those who served, are serving, will serve to keep our country safe and let us enjoy the freedoms that so many in the world do not know. To the families of the same for sharing your loved one with the country. To those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. We are forever indebted.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

I'm not in high school anymore

It would seem that I have been unfriended and blocked on Facebook because somebody is being all into their feelings over a situation that she created. Blame other people for your problems much? I could care less really; mostly, I find it to be really amusing. Way to be mature and stuff.

It has been slow...slow...slow tonight. I was hoping it would be busier than it has been but I'm not that lucky.

I have watched a lot of Food Network, laughed at Page as she is extremely irritated with her family right now. She keeps threatening to slap someone and I keep telling her that she better not.

I am ready to go home but it isn't nearly time to do that yet.


Saturday, November 10, 2012

Have a cliff handy?

I tried to drive the truck to work today after being assured it was, without a doubt, driveable. And it started messing up on me before I got halfway to work. I was livid.

He came and switched vehicles with me a little while ago. We got into a bit of a tiff over the phone about the truck and how irritated I am and a few other things but everything is better now. Or as better as it can get when you can't have a face to face discussion with someone because you are at work and they are at home. -i think I'm done mini venting now-

I have a headache, thanks to the gazillion children running through the lobby. They really have been very good and I always enjoy this weekend which is why I scheduled myself to work during their pilgrimage but that many kids at one time can really leave you with a headache.

Next week is going to be busy. I think I am going to spend part of the rest of my evening preparing for it since we are full tonight and there is very little left for me to do here.

Friday, November 9, 2012

I had grand plans

I had it in my head that I was going to get a lot done today. Instead, I managed to do very little.

Mike called Chris about the truck and it is going to cost an arm and two legs to fix it. Something always happens around the holidays that puts a damper on my plans for the season. I think this year I am just going to learn to breath & not let it matter so much.

Work has been interesting. We have groups of kids here for the Methodist Youth Pilgrimage. They have been very well-behaved. The adults (not associated with the groups) are the ones who have been jerks. Apparently seeing large groups of kids in one place is cause for massive panic and the belief that they are going to tear the hotel down one wall at a time. -sigh-

Dylan is supposed to be spending some time at our house this weekend to play marathon sessions of Halo 4.

Maybe I can get some stuff done tomorrow. Probably not but it is a nice idea.

Thursday, November 8, 2012


It is so quiet here late at night. When I got to work tonight, the hotel was sold out and everyone who was supposed to be here had already arrived. This means I have spent the last four hours reading the news and blogs and putting together paperwork that I don't normally seem to have time to do.

I woke up yesterday evening to get ready for work and had a text message from sister that they are moving our uncle to a bigger hospital which is almost 2 hours further away than the one he is in now. My heart is heavy at what I know is going to happen soon. I am not dwelling on any of it, just keeping it in my mind so I am not slammed when it does happen.

I get off work at 7 this morning. I am going to take a short nap and then do some grocery shopping because the grocery situation in our house is laughable. I don't have many other plans for the day. Just going to take it as it comes.

Right now, it is time to process the night audit and go make a cup of coffee.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Feeling awful wasn't part of my plan

I woke up this morning nauseous and with a headache. I promise I am not pregnant. Can't happen. Gina and I were supposed to go visit Uncle A.D. in the hospital today but with the way I was feeling, I decided it might not be a good idea to go visit a man who is dying while carrying whatever bug has currently got me feeling so yuck. She, bless her heart, informed Mama because after I told her I wasn't going, I promptly fell back to sleep for another 2 hours.

And was woke up by the ringing of my telephone. My mother calling to check on me and see if I was ok. Part of me feels like a complete jerk for not going to visit while the other part of me (the part with the logical sense) knows that going would have been extremely poor decision making.

Mostly today all I have done is sleep and get up to drink water and then sleep some more.

Dylan is in the living room with Nick at the moment playing video games and Elizabeth is waiting on the church youth group van. Chris has gone to pick up dinner and I am hoping that I will feel more human before I have to go to work at 11pm tonight.

On that note, I'm going back to sleep. (Bright side: Maybe I will have put a dent into my sleep deficit.) A girl can hope.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Day 2012

I voted early so today I didn't have to worry about long lines or malfunctioning equipment or any of the host of other problems that seem to be plaguing this election today. Instead I had a leisurely cup of coffee and cleaned my house.

Took a trip to Lowes (a place I dislike) to pick up a few things. Stopped at the grocery store for a couple of items to put in my supper and came back to the house.

Listened to Elizabeth chatter after she came home from school. That girl is full of energy all the time.

We cooked. Chris watched election returns until about 10:00 when he went to bed.

I, on the other hand, have stayed up long enough to hear them call the election for President Obama.

I was trying to wait to go to sleep until Mr. Romney conceded but I don't think I am going to make it that long.

Here is to another 4 years. May we find a path that will unite the country and actually get down to some business other than bashing one another.

Monday, November 5, 2012

One more day until election day

After today the campaigning will stop but I have a feeling we will be forced to endure political commentary for weeks to come with all of the voting snafus that are bound to take place tomorrow. I cast my vote last Wednesday so tomorrow I will sit back in the evening and watch some of the returns. While I am interested in the outcome of the presidential race (how can you not be really?), I am more interested in the local elections as they impact my day to day living. It will be interesting to see what happens. I happen to be off work tomorrow so I can watch in relative peace.

Today has been long. It's only just before 7pm and I feel like I have been at work for days, not mere hours. I think this is because it is slow in here again tonight. I am not complaining about it being slow because this weekend promises to be way more busy and a slow night, on occasion, is a welcome break.

I work one overnight shift this week. I can't say that I am particularly looking forward to that but it will be ok. The schedule is all weird because Walter is going on vacation and Page's last day is Sunday.

Thanksgiving in just 17 days. I am in no way prepared for it this year. And Christmas is just around the corner. I passed a house today on my way to work that was already all decked out in holiday cheer and all I could think was "wow." They have had their decorations up for at least a week already. I'm lucky to get my wreath hung the weekend after Thanksgiving.

We are supposed to go see Uncle A.D. in the hospital on Wednesday. The plan was to go tomorrow but Mama asked us to wait because he is having surgery tomorrow. Any good thoughts would be appreciated.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

where I try not to complain about dst....

I will fail miserably though because I have to tell you that this feels like it has been the

I woke up at 9 something curious as to whether my phone had changed time by itself because sometimes (thanks Verizon) it does not. Today, it had which was good. I was going to attempt to go back to sleep but decided to have coffee instead and then that morphed into cleaning my kitchen and a bunch of other random chores and then it was time for work. (Run on sentences anyone?)

I get to work and time just.... stops. At least that is what it feels like. Every time the clock has chimed tonight I have been like "really? It's only... [insert time that's not time to go home here] and I've been all been all sad faced. Plus, it is approximately a bajillion degrees behind this desk which makes me even more cranky and oh my goodness... somebody please make it 11pm.

I have had some nice conversations this evening. That is always a plus.

And Cindy was here most of the night. She left a few minutes ago so now I am by myself until 11. Time simply is not moving quickly enough for me tonight.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

There are few words...

It has been so busy tonight that I have been unable to properly sit down and eat. I think I have raced for the restroom a couple of times only to come back and find a line has formed. That is disconcerting, by the way.

No one had any idea it would be this busy tonight. The numbers didn't indicate that from the past few days or from the number of guaranteed reservations we had. I discovered a lot of people are traveling from the New Jersey/New York area. Most of them are headed south to Florida. I still can't quite fathom the devastation that is parts of the northeast.

There are only a few more days until the election. I am glad because my mailbox (and my brain) needs a break. The sheer number of poliltical advertisements we have been getting are mind boggling. The money they are spending on those things could be better used elsewhere.

I am exhausted and will be very glad when it is time to go. Just a few more minutes...

Friday, November 2, 2012


The title is the question I find myself asking the most lately. Usually, very increduously.

They (meaning Chris & Elizabeth) have renamed the dog yet again. First, it was "Little Man", then "Thumper" (because he is constantly thumping his tail... so cute by the way) and tonight they settled on Roscoe. I can only shake my head in confusion and hope that they will leave it at Roscoe because even I am starting to have an identity crisis in regards to the poor doggie. We haven't had him but a few days so he probably could care less what we are calling him right now.

I worked until 7 this morning and then got some breakfast and took a short (2 hour) nap. I woke up to a text message from my sister followed by a phone call from her from her work when I texted her back. She rarely calls from work so I was really concerned. Turns out I was right to be concerned but there is no need yet to stress.

I spoke to my mother. Ran some errands, went to see Mr. Carter who admitted to me when his wife was not in the room that he is not doing so well at all. I did manage to not cry this time when I saw him. I offered to do the yard work at his little house up the street from us that he is really wanting to have rented out asap because he is no longer capable of doing it and Miss Galena no longer has time since she is busy taking care of him.

We made tortellini soup for supper and Chris fixed the bathtub. Going to bed early tonight (or what is early for me) because I have had little sleep and I am super cranky now.

We have both voted already. I went and voted on Wednesday and I went with him and he voted tonight. Early voting ends Saturday, November 3rd if you live in the state of NC and then obviously, the regular polls are open on Tuesday, November 6th. I won't make any recommendations as to how you vote; I will just implore you to please exercise your right to vote. It really does matter and it really does make a difference.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Because I am a glutton for punishment

I decided to jump back into writing in a big way.

In addition to keeping my daily gratitude journal (in a notebook beside my bed), I have decided to participate in NaNoWriMo and in NaBloPoMo. I may have seriously lost my mind or overestimated my ability to do both things this month but I am certainly going to try.

Add to this the fact that it is November and there are several birthdays in my family and Thanksgiving is fast approaching (22 days! Where has the time gone?) Plus a full time job. Plus a family to feed and a house to keep clean and a new doggie to look after and and and ......... (lots of stuff going on this month but I am doing the writing for me because it is something that I have been wanting to do and if I don't take time for me and do what I love too then I become seriously unhappy.)

Yes, I am definitely crazy. But I am also looking forward to it in a really big way.

Monday, June 4, 2012

GIST - Day 366

Things I am grateful for today

1. I am glad that today is Day 366. I didn't stick to what I had envisioned and that was a GIST entry every day for a year. I tried. Oh, how I tried. But then life blew up in February and it seemed like I spent more time crying and trying to figure things out than I did doing anything else. It all worked out for the good but man, was it ever stressful and it didn't make me want to write. I did the same thing in 2009 when Chris shattered his leg. It seems to me that most people blog about their drama, major and minor and I end up shutting down and pretending I no longer exist.

2. There are only a few days of school remaining. I am so grateful because we all need a break. From the schedule of having to leave every day by 2 to pick up Elizabeth and get to work by 3 and all of the stress that comes with that. Plus, the last half of this school year has not been kind to any of us and I really believe that she needs a break more than anyone. I am really hoping the summer will be nice to us all and then we can start the 5th grade fresh and ready. With a new set of teachers who will perhaps erase the horribleness of the 4th grade teachers. And that is all I am going to say about that.

3. My long standing friendship has, for all intents and purposes, bit the dust. It was for the best. I know this. My heart knows this. It didn't make it hurt any less but I did understand which is a major step for me.

4. I have an appointment with my primary to discuss the depression. I can not stand to be like this any more and all of the stuff that has happened over the past several months has only served to drive me deeper into it. I have decided finally that I am very much worthy of some help and if medication/therapy will benefit me, then I am all for it.

5. I have learned to be proud of me. For standing up for myself. For standing up for my babies. For making my voice heard when others would have me silenced. I have done an admirable job of keeping things together. I deserve the pat on the back that I have given to myself. Enough said.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 37

Things I am grateful for today

1. school is almost over

2. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel

3. Hallie's last day is coming up.

4. I am starting to feel somewhat better.

5. reading a good book

Saturday, June 2, 2012

GIST - Day 364

Things I am grateful for today

1. working on the weekends

2. being loved

3. being able to nap before a long night at work.

4. sunshine

5. Ferb

Friday, June 1, 2012

GIST - Day 363


Things I am grateful for today

1. having a day off

2. being able to get some things done.

3. In one week, school will be over for the school year.

4. I am happy to have a job.

5. chocolate

Thursday, May 31, 2012

GIST - Day 340 to Day 361

Things I am grateful for these past few weeks

1. I have a job that I love.

2. I am geniunely liked at said job.

3. Chris and I are in a good place. Probably one of the better places we have ever been.

4. I have learned to ask for what I need.

5. I have rediscovered a love for reading.

6. I am slowly getting back into the swing of things that I enjoy.

7. I had a 2nd female exam because the first was abnormal according to the lab and after a month of stressing & hoping & praying, the 2nd one turned out to be just fine. The first one: Lab error. I was irritated for about a minute that they scared the crap out of me for their error but then instantly grateful that it wasn't something horrible for me to have to deal with.

8. I no longer have a certain friend. I can not tell you the sheer amount of stress this person was bringing to my life and I had no idea that was from where the stress was coming until it was no longer there. It is a relief.

9. I gave on doing daily GIST and consolidated some of them for my own peace of mind. It is one of the better decisions I have made.

10. I am going to be okay.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

GIST - Day 339

Things I am grateful for today

1. 2 nights of night shift in a row but it is both of my nights for 2 weeks so that's a bonus.

2. Night audit nights are quiet and I get a lot of things done.

3. I have developed a fondness for people watching.

4. I am starting to feel better about things in general.

5. Finishing my 3rd book for the month. I have really been on a reading kick.

Monday, May 7, 2012

GIST - Day 338

Things I am grateful for today

1. Today is the 45th business day. (That will mean nothing to most but everything in the world to me.)

2. Our nightmare is mostly over barring any unforeseen difficulties popping up.

3. I want to write about it all but haven't been able to do so.

4. I finally recognized that when things get unbalanced, I go into hibernation mode.

5. I am starting to breathe again.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 36

Things I am grateful for today

1. It is Harold's birthday and I surprised him with a cake at work.

2. The look of happiness on his face was worth every it.

3. He hugged me before he left and told me that no one had else remembered. I think everyone should be remembered on their birthday.

4. It has been an easy night at work.

5. I have a plan for some things that are upcoming.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

GIST - Day 336

Things I am grateful for today

1. Today was Eastover's Heritage Day Festival.

2. Beth performed with the drum club at the festival. She did a good job and had a great time.

3. I got the chance to take a nap before work.

4. Work was tolerable.

5. I am loved.

Friday, May 4, 2012

GIST - Day 335

Things I am grateful for today

1. The weekend is upcoming.

2. coffee

3. kitten snuggles

4. Beth is doing okay.

5. sunshine

Thursday, May 3, 2012

GIST - Day 334

Things I am grateful for today

1. a safe place to vent.

2. another day off to get things done.

3. knowing I am safe

4. text messages

5. hugs from my children

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

GIST - Day 332

Things I am grateful for today

1. I had a day off work.

2. I was able to get a variety of things accomplished.

3. I can see good things happening soon.

4. I have a plan of things I would like to do.

5. I took time for me.

Monday, April 30, 2012

GIST - Day 246 to Day 331

Things I have been grateful for over these past few months

1. the love of family.

2. friends to keep me sane.

3. work

4. copious amounts of coffee.

5. learning to be nice to myself.

6. saying no when I needed to say no.

7. quiet moments with a good book.

8. work to keep me from going crazy while we waited. And waited. And waited.

9. standing up for myself and for my family.

10. making my voice heard when I was afraid.

11. text messages

12. my 15th wedding anniversary to the most amazing, supportive man on the planet.

13. putting in my 2 week notice at work and then agreeing to stay after being asked by both the general manager and the owner. Complete with a raise.

14. taking some much needed me time.

15. reconnecting with old friends.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

GIST - Day 245

Things I am grateful for today

1. Chris & Beth spend Saturdays together usually in Elizabethtown which gives me time to do things I wouldn't normally get to do.

2. A good book

3. feeling happy

4. being able to cook

5. kisses

Friday, February 3, 2012

GIST - Day 244

Things I am grateful for

1. Fridays are usually good days.

2. I have managed to feel pretty decent.

3. I am loved beyond words.

4. coffee

5. butterflies

Thursday, February 2, 2012

GIST - Day 243

Things I am grateful for today

1. a day off

2. time to get things done

3. library books

4. people who make me laugh

5. coffee

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

GIST - Day 242

Things I am grateful for today

1. being loved

2. the ability to admit mistakes

3. coffee

4. having a job I like

5. my children

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

GIST - Day 241

Things I am grateful for today

1. treating myself to breakfast after work

2. being able to be home & make supper for everybody.

3. clean laundry

4. time to read a book

5. the next couple of days after I get done working at 7 in the morning.

Monday, January 30, 2012

GIST - Day 240

Things I am grateful for today

1. love

2. Smiles

3. Chocolate chip cookies

4. working 11 to 7 overnight tonight

5. hot showers

Sunday, January 29, 2012

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 35

Things I am grateful for today

1. spellcheck

2. hugs

3. the schedule that is currently posted (will be even more grateful if it doesn't change)

4. Chris & the kids cleaned up part of the house.

5. being able to take a nap before work

Saturday, January 28, 2012

GIST - Day 238

Things I am grateful for today

1. I remembered to wish April a happy birthday.

2. I had a chance to pick up Dylan and bring him to the house before I came to work.

3. The hotel is sold out again for tonight.

4. Coffee

5. Being loved

Friday, January 27, 2012

GIST - Day 237

Things I am grateful for today

1. It was busy at work.

2. The hotel sold out.

3. People were nice & friendly.

4. Patience

5. Peppermint candy

Thursday, January 26, 2012

GIST - Day 236

Things I am grateful for today

1. Hallie texting me to let me know paychecks were at the desk a day early.

2. Going out with Chris for awhile tonight & getting pizza for supper.

3. There will be good food for work tomorrow since I had ribs in the crock pot & we decided to get that pizza instead.

4. some quiet time

5. laughter

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

GIST - Day 235

Things I am grateful for today

1. making time to do something just for me

2. being able to sleep

3. a husband who tries his best to be understanding & does a really good job of it.

4. funny pictures sent to my phone

5. finding a game that allows me to mindlessly kill some time

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

GIST - Day 234

Things I am grateful for today

1. hugs

2. having tomorrow & Thursday off in a row this week.

3. leftovers

4. conversations with friends

5. some sunshine peeked into the day

Monday, January 23, 2012

GIST - Day 233

Things I am grateful for today

1. The kids had a half day of school so I got to spend a bit of time with them before heading to work.

2. coffee in abundant amounts

3. snuggles with the cat

4. making time to do something just for me

5. knowing when to just be quiet

Sunday, January 22, 2012

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 34

Things I am grateful for today

1. I slept in. (It was something I apparently really needed as I managed to sleep until almost 11:30 this morning.)

2. Chris made me breakfast/brunch/lunch... whatever you want to call it.

3. My work day has not been too taxing.

4. A random guest made me laugh & it was a really good thing.

5. This work day is almost over.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

GIST - Day 231

Things I am grateful for today

1. We had a full house at work tonight.

2. It was not overwhelming because I did stuff to make things easier on me at the beginning of my shift.

3. People were nice.

4. I got a chance to do a few things before work today.

5. Beth seems to finally be feeling better.

Friday, January 20, 2012

GIST - Day 230

Things I am grateful for today

1. It is Nick's 17th birthday.

2. Elizabeth made it the whole day at school today.

3. I was able to make lasagna that Nick wanted for his dinner.

4. Dylan was able to spend most of the day with Nick.

5. Carly is getting better & her dizziness wasn't related to the surgery she had a few weeks ago.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

GIST - Day 229

Things I am grateful for today

1. the ability to turn off the news

2. being loved

3. hugs for no reason

4. some patience

5. the dark cloud seems to be lifting.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

GIST - Day 228

Things I am grateful for today

1. Coming back to work.

2. Amelia had left me a welcome back note & that made me smile.

3. Being able to afford medication.

4. coffee

5. a new book to read

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

GIST - Day 227

Things I am grateful for today

1. I relaxed on the last day of my vacation.

2. sunshine

3. coffee

4. a sense of humor.

5. getting some much needed sleep

GIST - Day 217

Things I am grateful for today

1. Hugs

2. Coffee

3. Music

4. The medicine that keeps me alive

5. Hugs

Monday, January 16, 2012

GIST - Day 226

Things I am grateful for today

1. When I called for my schedule, I was off tomorrow & for Nick's birthday like I requested.

2. Even though my vacation didn't go anything like I wanted it to go, it was still restful and I am happy for that.

3. Cooking supper.

4. The kids were out of school today so I got to spend the day with them.

5. We brought Dylan over so they could play video games together today.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 33

Things I am grateful for today

1. Spending the day with Chris.

2. That neither of us was seriously hurt when the driver side window exploded.

3. Being able to find the humor in the event after the fact.

4. Having a pretty good day overall.

5. Feeling special.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

GIST - Day 224

Things I am grateful for today

1. a day spent with my babies.

2. I got a few things done around the house.

3. Mostly I was lazy and I don't feel guilty about it.

4. Hugs

5. Coffee

Friday, January 13, 2012

GIST - Day 223

Things I am grateful for today

1. Chris had the day off with me.

2. We went and did a few things that we needed to get done.

3. Mostly we had a great day.

4. The truck wasn't ready early like we had hoped it would be but we did get to pick it up tonight.

5. I am learning patience.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

GIST - Day 222

Things I am grateful for today

1. sleeping in

2. chocolate

3. coffee

4. being able to selectively listen to the news

5. puzzles

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 175

It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...