Friday, November 30, 2012

I tried. I'm not going to say I failed.

I was very intent upon posting every day this month. Really, I truly was. And then the weekend after Thanksgiving happened and then I had 3 days off in a row and I felt seriously horrible and ended up sleeping most of time off away and I didn't post a single thing. I just couldn't muster up the energy to get through every day and write. For a minute I was feeling like I had failed but you know what? I didn't. I know this. I haven't posted regularly in years so the fact that I posted for 23 consecutive days this month really means something.

It is more difficult to find a balance now that the kids are so much older (one is almost grown; the other acts as if she is...) and with working a job where I don't want to write too much about the people who work with/for me because they are entitled to their privacy and I don't want to be "that" girl, ya know?

I don't want someone from HR to call me into a meeting and be like "well we saw where you wrote..." and take issue so I just tend to not write much that could get me into trouble. Frankly, that's pretty damn boring.

So I think I have decided that I will continue to write but I am going to remove the restrictions that I have placed upon myself and I'm not going to keep a set schedule that I will feel the need to apologize for if I don't adhere to it. I'm just going to be me. The good, bad, the indifferent.

We will see what happens.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

for my sister

Today is my sister's birthday. She hasn't been feeling so well lately and I am concerned about her. I keep trying to get her to go see a doctor but she is stubborn and so far, has refused. I keep hearing her say "no lectures please." So I make the attempt to not lecture.

My sister is amazing. She doesn't seem to recognize this about herself often enough but she is simply amazing. I am surprised that the two girls who used to try to beat each other up in the back yard (yes, that would have been us) have become such good friends in our adult lives. Who even knew that could happen? I'm so very much glad it did.

My sister is a wonderful sister, an extraordinary mother to my 2 beautiful nieces and a spectacular friend.

I won't rat out how old she is, just that she's a few years younger than me. Old enough to know better but still young enough to care (much!)

Happy Birthday, Gina. I love you to the moon and beyond.

PS: I think this is the first year April has ever said happy birthday to you without calling you Ramona Quimby. I call this progress. ;-)

Sunday, November 25, 2012

GIST - The Sunday edition # 38

Things I am grateful for today

1. a job that I love even when it drives me crazy.

2. friends who make the effort to understand me.

3. having a couple of days off in a row starting tomorrow.

4. knowing that I am completely loved.

5. books.

Friday, November 23, 2012


I very cheerfully came to work tonight. I am not so cheerful just a few minutes from getting out of here for the evening but the idea of being to able to leave the house and not have to listen to Nick play video games for the upteenth hour was appealing.

It has been really nice at work. People are mostly pleasant which is surprising to me because I imagine many of them have been up forever today what with Black Friday and all and then traveling. I always like to know where people are going. Or where they went. I think this probably makes me incredibly nosy.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Gratefulness - The Thanksgiving edition

I make it a point to always try to be grateful every single day but it seems fitting that on a holiday set aside specifically for Thanksgiving that I remind myself of the things for which I am grateful.

  • my children
  • my husband
  • my job (which I enjoy beyond measure)
  • having time to read a good book
  • laughs
  • friends (both near and far)
  • my sister
  • a roof over my head
  • having a place to vent
  • the medicine that keeps me alive
  • coffee
  • days filled with sunshine
  • the changing colors of the leaves on the trees

There's always more but those are the things just off the top of my head. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving (or if you are not in America, a wonderful Thursday.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

strange but true

Today is my Uncle Ken's birthday. He's the youngest brother on my mama's side of the family. I honestly can't tell you how old he is because I have trouble keeping up with my own age most years. Somewhere in his mid 50's because he's younger than my mama.

Today would have been the birthday of my Aunt Wilma. She was the oldest of my father's siblings. She passed away several years ago. I think she would have been 67 this year because her and her siblings were two years apart and my daddy is 63. I miss her tremendously.

As a kid, I used to think it was so cool that I had relatives on each side of the family who shared a birthday. I don't even know why I thought this was the best thing ever but I did.

Also in the category of best thing ever: I was born on my grandparents wedding anniversary. My grandma told me this one year when she was talking about her married life (my grandfather passed away in the early 80s.)

I am in a melancholy mood tonight. Part of that has to do with the time of year. The rest of it has to do with worrying about my uncle and missing my aunt.

Off work tomorrow so I am going to cook and we are going to have Thanksgiving dinner a day early since I have to work every day until Monday.

Monday, November 19, 2012

written a little bit over a long period of time

If you watch the news for more than five minutes a day, it can really be very depressing.

Anyone who says that no one is traveling for Thanksgiving doesn't work in the hospitality industry or travel down an interstate. As someone who does both, I can assure you that traffic is heavy and hotel rooms are being snatched up like hotcakes. A boon for the business to be sure. A bit of a headache for those of us who thought it might possibly be a slow night and are short staffed already and don't have the correct number of people to schedule to keep up with the busy-ness of the evening.

I can wear my snowman earrings in 3 days. I was teasing Chris about wearing them the other day and he said I should wait until at least Thanksgiving. I think he really meant "after Thanksgiving" but I am going to go with Thanksgiving itself and wear them for my 8 hour shift that night. You have to find some joy where you can and for some reason the snowman earrings make me smile.

It has been busy in here tonight. My goodness, at the sheer number of people who have filtered through this door this afternoon/evening.

This mandate to leave FOX News on in the breakfast room is really grating my nerves. About the only person I can tolerate on there anymore is Shepard Smith. I don't know why that it is but it is.

My sister has invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday. I am off that day (it's my only day off this week.) I think we may stop in there for a little bit. I was planning to cook on Wednesday for us as our Thanksgiving meal since I'm working 3 to 11 each and every day after that but we shall see.

I have 3 hours and 15 minutes to go before my shift is over.

I am so ready to go home.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

tired and sad

What is currently taking place in the Middle East with Israel and Palestine is enough to make you cry. And cry I have.

I went to bed last night just after 9pm and I slept until almost 11:30 today. Apparently I found my tired.

I was supposed to order Chinese food for supper tonight but I forgot to bring any money with me and I don't want to use the bank card because then I will have to go to the bank and put it back and I'm too lazy (and busy) to do all of that.

I made the schedule and I have myself working 6 days this week. What exactly was I thinking?

It's busy in here tonight which is a good thing. I hope it will stay that way.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

something good

I have been up since 4am when the alarm went off for Chris and Elizabeth to go hunting.

I have done a little bit of everything today.

It was supposed to be a lazy day and instead I did some more cleaning. I did some cooking. The only thing I have not done today is read. Not a thing.

I also talked to Mama and she told me that Uncle AD was more alert today and talking to them and I got to speak to him on the telephone. That made me happy. I don't know what exactly is going on but I am pleased by any sign of positive progress.

Friday, November 16, 2012

busy busy day

I got off work at 7 this morning. Went home, drank a quick cup of coffee and fell asleep for 2 hours at which point the alarm went off and I forced myself to get out of bed and get moving.

Called my mama to wish her a happy birthday. Took some venison to Mr. John. Went to the bank. Got my hair cut. Stopped by the library. The post office. The grocery store. I feel like I did an inordinate amount of driving.

This being in the car forever was compounded by the traffic snarl that is one of the main arteries into Fayetteville. Hwy 24 caved in on one section and they have traffic closed (obviously) which makes for a freaking nightmare. You never realize how much traffic a road like that gets until that road is closed and everyone has to take the itty bitty roads around it. Roads that were never designed to handle that much traffic might I add.

So I finally made it home where instead of sleeping I proceed to do a whole bunch of laundry and clean the kitchen and straighten things and put away laundry and and and (everything but sleep.) For some reason, I'm not as tired as I thought I would be given that I worked all night.

I am, however, going to call it a day now.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

so much to say

I called Mama first thing this morning because she had asked me to call her before going to the hospital so if there was a change in his condition or if something bad had happened then she could warn me first. I was unprepared for her to say that she thought it was a bad idea for us to go. Her reasoning was that he is really bad off and she was afraid we would have a bad memory. Then she tells me that of course I can go if I need/want to go but she's worried how it will leave me. We hang up after I tell her I will be discussing it with Chris and 5 minutes later, she calls back to tell me that Daddy thinks I will regret it if I don't go when I have the opportunity. And then she calls back again to let me know they were on the way up there themselves if we got lost and needed directions. And finally we left the house and we didn't get lost and it was as bad as I was afraid it was going to be and I cried and my other uncle made me want to throw him through a window and I cried some more and then we left. [let me take a deep breath]

Chris called his friend Jeff on our way back through Wilson and we went by his house and I got to see puppies and rabbits. After we had already left, they were on the phone and I found out there had been baby bunnies in the pen (that I didn't see!) and I wanted to go back but I figured Chris might murder me in the truck if I told him I would like to go back and see them so I kept my mouth shut.

We went to White Swan and got a plate for supper and then he dropped me off at home so I could go to sleep because I had to work later in the evening.

I slept for all of 3 hours and then I was wide awake so I went ahead and got ready and now I am at work. I got here about 9:15 this evening. I knew Susan would be ready to go given that she hates to work 2nd shift and it is busier than really likes to handle other than me. I love 2nd shift. It is this 3rd shift stuff that I'm not overly fond

It's going to be a long night. I'm going to go try to smile my way through it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

...and then the phone rang...

It was early this morning when I picked up my phone and realized I had already missed a call from my mama. I was in the process of turning the ringer on and returning her call when I saw I had also missed a text message from my sister. So of course, I really thought the worst. But my fears were unfounded as of yet thank goodness. Mama was calling to let me know the hospital had called her and there had been a turn for the worse. My sister was texting to see if I had talked to Mama because they both thought I had worked audit the night before.

Chris and I got into an argument this morning which was uglier than I would have expected it to be. I'm not sure what his problem was but he was in a bad mood and I'm always in a bad mood in the mornings. -sigh- We made up before he left for work but it didn't stop me from crying about it later. Mostly at the stupidity of it all.

The next couple of days are going to be rough. I am working audit tomorrow night and Chris offered to go with me to Rocky Mount tomorrow so we are going to do that in the morning and I have to go to work early because I agreed to do that since Susan agreed to work the desk 2nd shift.

I think I might better go to sleep.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

i could use a day or two

I have been contemplating my vacation because October 14th was my anniversary date at work and so I collected another year but I am at a loss as to when to take it. This year, Chris will get his entire vacation days credited to him on January 1st (instead of in July which is his anniversary month) so we could possibly make our vacations match up. Then I think how, every year, I take my vacation in January because January is such a drab month and it gives me a boost that seems to work out for me. I'm not sure quite what I will do yet but I have been considering it.

Tonight at work has been so excruciatingly slow. People have come in but it has been sporadic and the phone hasn't rang much and I am just ready for my days off this week. Of course, I have a bit to wait since I'm not off until Friday and Saturday.

Lillian floated tonight and she actually came over and talked to me a few times tonight. Yes, I am surprised because she has not been of the mind to do that ever since she started working here. I did think, at first, that I must have somehow made her mad but Page assured me that Lillian was just really shy and not good in social situations. Tonight she was ok though.

And Amelia is still not speaking to me. Oh well. She will get over herself sometime soon.

Monday, November 12, 2012

I am at a loss for real words

I don't know where to put most of the stuff rolling around in my brain so I will dump it here and hope for the best.

I spoke with my mother at length this morning about my uncle. He has not improved any despite being sent to the specialty hospital in another city. This hospital is supposed to be one of the premier hospitals and the doctors there can not figure out what is wrong with him. He isn't allowed to have visitors for more than half an hour at a time and so, I am not yet allowed to go up and see him. My mother, bless her, is holding together relatively well for a woman is running on mostly adrenaline and decaf coffee. She told me of a conversation she had with my father about how she flinches each & every time the phone rings; a part of her steeling herself for bad news. They canceled their trip to Florida because she said she can not imagine trying to have fun while her brother lays dying 800 miles away.

I was particularly grateful today for the opportunity to actually speak with her. I think the conversation ultimately did us both some good.

The kids didn't have school today because of Veteran's Day. Elizabeth made me coffee and breakfast this morning and we had a pretty good day before I had to leave to come to work. Nick slept through most of my "at home" time, waking up only long enough to help me carry my stuff to the truck and say bye.

There was stew cooking in the crock pot when I left and Chris messaged me to tell me that it was really good. His exact words were "f---ing awesome." I take it the stew was pretty good. I will find out when I get home tonight.

Work has been... a bit slow so boring. There are 50 minutes left in my shift and then I will go home and collapse and come back again tomorrow.

Things are tense at work to say the least. I did see Mr. A today. He hugged me and told me to tell Chris that he had hugged me so he wouldn't be jealous (ha ha) and then he told me to tell Chris to love me more. I really like Mr. A. He's funny most of the time and sharp as a tack even though he pretends otherwise.

On that note, I'm going to watch Food Network until it is time to leave. Everything else is done already.

Happy Veteran's Day: to all those who served, are serving, will serve to keep our country safe and let us enjoy the freedoms that so many in the world do not know. To the families of the same for sharing your loved one with the country. To those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. We are forever indebted.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

I'm not in high school anymore

It would seem that I have been unfriended and blocked on Facebook because somebody is being all into their feelings over a situation that she created. Blame other people for your problems much? I could care less really; mostly, I find it to be really amusing. Way to be mature and stuff.

It has been slow...slow...slow tonight. I was hoping it would be busier than it has been but I'm not that lucky.

I have watched a lot of Food Network, laughed at Page as she is extremely irritated with her family right now. She keeps threatening to slap someone and I keep telling her that she better not.

I am ready to go home but it isn't nearly time to do that yet.


Saturday, November 10, 2012

Have a cliff handy?

I tried to drive the truck to work today after being assured it was, without a doubt, driveable. And it started messing up on me before I got halfway to work. I was livid.

He came and switched vehicles with me a little while ago. We got into a bit of a tiff over the phone about the truck and how irritated I am and a few other things but everything is better now. Or as better as it can get when you can't have a face to face discussion with someone because you are at work and they are at home. -i think I'm done mini venting now-

I have a headache, thanks to the gazillion children running through the lobby. They really have been very good and I always enjoy this weekend which is why I scheduled myself to work during their pilgrimage but that many kids at one time can really leave you with a headache.

Next week is going to be busy. I think I am going to spend part of the rest of my evening preparing for it since we are full tonight and there is very little left for me to do here.

Friday, November 9, 2012

I had grand plans

I had it in my head that I was going to get a lot done today. Instead, I managed to do very little.

Mike called Chris about the truck and it is going to cost an arm and two legs to fix it. Something always happens around the holidays that puts a damper on my plans for the season. I think this year I am just going to learn to breath & not let it matter so much.

Work has been interesting. We have groups of kids here for the Methodist Youth Pilgrimage. They have been very well-behaved. The adults (not associated with the groups) are the ones who have been jerks. Apparently seeing large groups of kids in one place is cause for massive panic and the belief that they are going to tear the hotel down one wall at a time. -sigh-

Dylan is supposed to be spending some time at our house this weekend to play marathon sessions of Halo 4.

Maybe I can get some stuff done tomorrow. Probably not but it is a nice idea.

Thursday, November 8, 2012


It is so quiet here late at night. When I got to work tonight, the hotel was sold out and everyone who was supposed to be here had already arrived. This means I have spent the last four hours reading the news and blogs and putting together paperwork that I don't normally seem to have time to do.

I woke up yesterday evening to get ready for work and had a text message from sister that they are moving our uncle to a bigger hospital which is almost 2 hours further away than the one he is in now. My heart is heavy at what I know is going to happen soon. I am not dwelling on any of it, just keeping it in my mind so I am not slammed when it does happen.

I get off work at 7 this morning. I am going to take a short nap and then do some grocery shopping because the grocery situation in our house is laughable. I don't have many other plans for the day. Just going to take it as it comes.

Right now, it is time to process the night audit and go make a cup of coffee.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Feeling awful wasn't part of my plan

I woke up this morning nauseous and with a headache. I promise I am not pregnant. Can't happen. Gina and I were supposed to go visit Uncle A.D. in the hospital today but with the way I was feeling, I decided it might not be a good idea to go visit a man who is dying while carrying whatever bug has currently got me feeling so yuck. She, bless her heart, informed Mama because after I told her I wasn't going, I promptly fell back to sleep for another 2 hours.

And was woke up by the ringing of my telephone. My mother calling to check on me and see if I was ok. Part of me feels like a complete jerk for not going to visit while the other part of me (the part with the logical sense) knows that going would have been extremely poor decision making.

Mostly today all I have done is sleep and get up to drink water and then sleep some more.

Dylan is in the living room with Nick at the moment playing video games and Elizabeth is waiting on the church youth group van. Chris has gone to pick up dinner and I am hoping that I will feel more human before I have to go to work at 11pm tonight.

On that note, I'm going back to sleep. (Bright side: Maybe I will have put a dent into my sleep deficit.) A girl can hope.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Day 2012

I voted early so today I didn't have to worry about long lines or malfunctioning equipment or any of the host of other problems that seem to be plaguing this election today. Instead I had a leisurely cup of coffee and cleaned my house.

Took a trip to Lowes (a place I dislike) to pick up a few things. Stopped at the grocery store for a couple of items to put in my supper and came back to the house.

Listened to Elizabeth chatter after she came home from school. That girl is full of energy all the time.

We cooked. Chris watched election returns until about 10:00 when he went to bed.

I, on the other hand, have stayed up long enough to hear them call the election for President Obama.

I was trying to wait to go to sleep until Mr. Romney conceded but I don't think I am going to make it that long.

Here is to another 4 years. May we find a path that will unite the country and actually get down to some business other than bashing one another.

Monday, November 5, 2012

One more day until election day

After today the campaigning will stop but I have a feeling we will be forced to endure political commentary for weeks to come with all of the voting snafus that are bound to take place tomorrow. I cast my vote last Wednesday so tomorrow I will sit back in the evening and watch some of the returns. While I am interested in the outcome of the presidential race (how can you not be really?), I am more interested in the local elections as they impact my day to day living. It will be interesting to see what happens. I happen to be off work tomorrow so I can watch in relative peace.

Today has been long. It's only just before 7pm and I feel like I have been at work for days, not mere hours. I think this is because it is slow in here again tonight. I am not complaining about it being slow because this weekend promises to be way more busy and a slow night, on occasion, is a welcome break.

I work one overnight shift this week. I can't say that I am particularly looking forward to that but it will be ok. The schedule is all weird because Walter is going on vacation and Page's last day is Sunday.

Thanksgiving in just 17 days. I am in no way prepared for it this year. And Christmas is just around the corner. I passed a house today on my way to work that was already all decked out in holiday cheer and all I could think was "wow." They have had their decorations up for at least a week already. I'm lucky to get my wreath hung the weekend after Thanksgiving.

We are supposed to go see Uncle A.D. in the hospital on Wednesday. The plan was to go tomorrow but Mama asked us to wait because he is having surgery tomorrow. Any good thoughts would be appreciated.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

where I try not to complain about dst....

I will fail miserably though because I have to tell you that this feels like it has been the

I woke up at 9 something curious as to whether my phone had changed time by itself because sometimes (thanks Verizon) it does not. Today, it had which was good. I was going to attempt to go back to sleep but decided to have coffee instead and then that morphed into cleaning my kitchen and a bunch of other random chores and then it was time for work. (Run on sentences anyone?)

I get to work and time just.... stops. At least that is what it feels like. Every time the clock has chimed tonight I have been like "really? It's only... [insert time that's not time to go home here] and I've been all been all sad faced. Plus, it is approximately a bajillion degrees behind this desk which makes me even more cranky and oh my goodness... somebody please make it 11pm.

I have had some nice conversations this evening. That is always a plus.

And Cindy was here most of the night. She left a few minutes ago so now I am by myself until 11. Time simply is not moving quickly enough for me tonight.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

There are few words...

It has been so busy tonight that I have been unable to properly sit down and eat. I think I have raced for the restroom a couple of times only to come back and find a line has formed. That is disconcerting, by the way.

No one had any idea it would be this busy tonight. The numbers didn't indicate that from the past few days or from the number of guaranteed reservations we had. I discovered a lot of people are traveling from the New Jersey/New York area. Most of them are headed south to Florida. I still can't quite fathom the devastation that is parts of the northeast.

There are only a few more days until the election. I am glad because my mailbox (and my brain) needs a break. The sheer number of poliltical advertisements we have been getting are mind boggling. The money they are spending on those things could be better used elsewhere.

I am exhausted and will be very glad when it is time to go. Just a few more minutes...

Friday, November 2, 2012


The title is the question I find myself asking the most lately. Usually, very increduously.

They (meaning Chris & Elizabeth) have renamed the dog yet again. First, it was "Little Man", then "Thumper" (because he is constantly thumping his tail... so cute by the way) and tonight they settled on Roscoe. I can only shake my head in confusion and hope that they will leave it at Roscoe because even I am starting to have an identity crisis in regards to the poor doggie. We haven't had him but a few days so he probably could care less what we are calling him right now.

I worked until 7 this morning and then got some breakfast and took a short (2 hour) nap. I woke up to a text message from my sister followed by a phone call from her from her work when I texted her back. She rarely calls from work so I was really concerned. Turns out I was right to be concerned but there is no need yet to stress.

I spoke to my mother. Ran some errands, went to see Mr. Carter who admitted to me when his wife was not in the room that he is not doing so well at all. I did manage to not cry this time when I saw him. I offered to do the yard work at his little house up the street from us that he is really wanting to have rented out asap because he is no longer capable of doing it and Miss Galena no longer has time since she is busy taking care of him.

We made tortellini soup for supper and Chris fixed the bathtub. Going to bed early tonight (or what is early for me) because I have had little sleep and I am super cranky now.

We have both voted already. I went and voted on Wednesday and I went with him and he voted tonight. Early voting ends Saturday, November 3rd if you live in the state of NC and then obviously, the regular polls are open on Tuesday, November 6th. I won't make any recommendations as to how you vote; I will just implore you to please exercise your right to vote. It really does matter and it really does make a difference.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Because I am a glutton for punishment

I decided to jump back into writing in a big way.

In addition to keeping my daily gratitude journal (in a notebook beside my bed), I have decided to participate in NaNoWriMo and in NaBloPoMo. I may have seriously lost my mind or overestimated my ability to do both things this month but I am certainly going to try.

Add to this the fact that it is November and there are several birthdays in my family and Thanksgiving is fast approaching (22 days! Where has the time gone?) Plus a full time job. Plus a family to feed and a house to keep clean and a new doggie to look after and and and ......... (lots of stuff going on this month but I am doing the writing for me because it is something that I have been wanting to do and if I don't take time for me and do what I love too then I become seriously unhappy.)

Yes, I am definitely crazy. But I am also looking forward to it in a really big way.

GIST - The Sunday Edition # 175

It's been awhile since I have done one of these although my offline gratitude practice remains on point. In no particular order, here ar...