*I guess this is my version of cleaning out my inbox. I decided to delete all of the posts in draft because most of them had been there for months and months but instead of deleting this one, I finished it.*
I dreamed of moors again last night. As in Ireland. I don't know how I know it is Ireland in my dream but I do and it is. There is always a mist and I can hear music. The dream never goes beyond me walking on the moors; nothing concrete ever happens good or bad yet the dream is one that has been recurring on and off for most of my adult life. I, sometimes, feel like there are answers waiting there for me if I were to be brave enough to seek them out.
I try not to have regrets with my life because I typically feel they are a waste of time. You can spend time regretting the things you haven't done or you can go about doing them. So I was really surprised to realize that I do, indeed, regret some decisions that I made when I was somewhat younger, when Nick was younger. There are things I wish I would have done differently and I can only strive to not do those same things with Elizabeth. I won't call them mistakes because as they say "hindsight is 20/20." They seemed like the best decisions at the time. It's just now, presently, looking back on it that I think I could have/should have done some things differently.
My daughter says I work too much. I still haven't found a way to convince her that me working is something that is both necessary for the household budget and for my mental well being. She only knows that I am often at work in the afternoons and evening so I seem to rarely get to see her. And oh, how I miss getting to spend time with her. She doesn't seem to grasp that this is as hard on me as it for her. Perhaps, more difficult for me because I remember being able to stay home with them when they were both younger.
We have new cameras at work that allow me to see what is going on all across the hotel on all the floors. I really like being able to do that because now I can see when people are having trouble getting into their rooms and can head them off at the pass before they make it all the way back to desk to throw keys at me. 99% of the people who say their key doesn't work has actually not put it in the door lock properly. They always get a bit annoyed when I take their key from them and insert it into the lock and the clock clicks open on the first try.
This post is completely random and brought to you by the many things swirling around in my brain. There is more; there is always more but I am hesitant to write it out. And it's almost time for me to go home.