This past few weeks has shown me that those things may fade but they never truly go away and my current state of blah-ness emphasizes that and drives the point home.
This week, 18 years ago, my mother in law passed away. Also this week, 18 years ago, would have been the week that I had my second child if that pregnancy had remained viable.
I can't wrap my mind around that. Our second child would be 18 sometime this week (my due date was November 12th). I sometimes wonder what that child would be like if he/she had been given the opportunity to be born and to grow up.
Some people may think it's stupid how my reaction to this time of year is but I finally recognize that I am mourning something that was never to be and there is really nothing I can do about it. Just let it run its course and do it all over again next year.
